"I can feel the future remember us from there"

The Wonderland Verses 1 I am shrinking with age but better that than Stinking with rage the way an angry man can Not getting mad going mad slipping away 2 A little smaller today than yesterday With everybody angry and with me not But not with me not that it matters anyway 3 Except that I am curious about the what Of the why whereby I seem to disappear As though I were something the future forgot 4 And though I know that I am now and here I wonder if my now will be later when I get smaller and smaller then not thinking shrink again Suffering to separate my now from my here 5 Every year I very nearly die but remain A little smaller little too confused to explain Trying to understand it all in wonderland 6 As in December I remember things the past forgot To bring from spring I thought would be forever But because they were here there here they are not And since they were now when now they are then 7 Now never to evermore see them here again Nor do I understand it all at all not yet and yet Better small than bitter gall better now than never 8 Long ago an ego like the great outdoors Was at my command and might have battled yours But shrinking I have changed and thinking I may say You mean more to me than me or as much anyway 9 The inwardly expanding here of now allows Our heres to be here now together with our nows Here to realize us now at actual size 10 And though I might appear to be Disappearing gradually It seems to me to be and entre nous That I am being realized actually 11 Doing what I do in order to come true Realizing how I want to be actually As you actualize now what is really me As I am realizing what is actually you 12 Made clearer in the mirror of reality Shared and compared and completed in reflection And though old and small and fallen I arise again 13 The penalty death but the pardon resurrection Content now to be outwardly growing in reverse While inwardly here expanding with the universe 14 The scope of my hope is if anything greater And richer and deeper if small if problematic Than it was when I was then now that later is now 15 Content and continent if strange if enigmatic An ego like the great indoors but still not angry Living through bad times but having lived through worse Never having died yet but wondering how 16 With everybody angry at too late to explain Aheading and behinding forwarding and rewinding Where not many if any explanations remain In wonderland though small I understand it all at last 17 Understanding how I understand nothing At all now wondering why it took so long for me To see I could be happy if I let myself be 18 And that is the part that is harder than anything To let myself be happy allowing me to see Myself clearer through the mirror shrinking but thinking To understand in wonderland a wonderful thing 19 How it all works out now somehow though not easy nor fast But this is how it is and how it does what it does How now is my present from the future and the past 20 A Trojan horse or Pegasus on which to go free How it will be when now is then to see not to say But now is how it is because it is not how it was 21 And here and now is all I ever hope to be Happy or else understand why not in wonderland So forward no behinding ahead and no rewinding It is clearer through the mirror when I go the right way 22 As in the dark immensity of fear What could it be but us I see who could it be but we Who spark the bright intensity of here And now as the somehow of those who go free? 23 Time may have its way with me If I may have this day to be The way it is because you stay with me And it may end if till then you will be my friend 24 As in this our meeting within this fleeting greeting Of sparks in the dark on the eve of despair And in this our finding each other never minding I can feel the future remember us from there +Steven Curtis Lance Copyright MMX