fifty-six lines at fifty-six cents overdrawn Let me be alone to take my mistake In stride or hide or something like heal now Let the disappointment ache out somehow Enough reality I need a break If the psychotic kind out of my mind Though even so let me take time to take What little I have left and do my best To be happy and to make my mistake The past at last to learn from left behind I would be happy if only I could But knowing I should at least I would try To find happiness then before I die Now before all this is over for me At least when this side of reality Learning from this as from all my mistakes Always the hard way as harder each day Turning and earning whatever it takes I wonder what it all means anyway When all it takes is all I have to give Everyone tells me I have to forgive To forget and yet remember to live As I should but would tell them if I could That now I am something like tired and would Like to try and figure out how to be If I am supposed to how to be me Let me take a break then with my mistake Behind me to find such me as can be Having taken time to be mistaken It might take awhile now to smile again Returning learning to smile again then Better than ever with wrinkles to show Someone who suffered but let it all go Who will always wonder though never know To know has no importance anymore Winning the peace through having lost the war The peace that comes from having understood This is it for me now the only chance To be for this being becoming Lance Belatedly fated to join the dance And this is it to be the best I can This as this fifty-seven year-old man Having had trouble and wanting no more Having done what I should then what I would Now wondering what all the fuss was for Doing what I should then the best I could Fussing behind I keep an open mind Finding the meaning of life to be kind Of hard to understand for those who fuss But kind of easy for the rest of us Having what it takes when it takes it all Humankind is best when humans are kind Learning from mistakes we rise when we fall So it is then as I open my eyes To my surprise now to see how I rise Having understood not needing to know The only way is up so here I go +Steven Curtis Lance Copyright MMXII