My mind and nose are fully lit.
Too drunk am I to try to quit.
And yet I know I'll make a hit
at the Temperance Meeting.

I haven't left a bit of cash.
I spent it all on sour mash.
And yet I know I'll make a smash
at the Temperance Meeting.

I cannot walk a straightened mile;
too weak to work a radio dial
and yet I know I'll get a smile
at the Temperance Meeting.

At the Temperance Meeting
I'll be there greeting
and helping with seating.
For I'm the Chairman of the Temperance Meeting.

"If the hangover preceded the drinking: insobriety would be considered a virtue." - Oscar Wilde