Little Folk, Cousins Make A Pit Stop

(Another adventure of the "Little Folk" series, Sista and Brudder deal with unwanted visitors)

I heard their old truck comin' down the gravel road
saw the dust cloud risin', 'bove the 'lectric poles
as their truck pulled up in a screeching halt
their brakes so bad, they could barely stop

it was my Aunt, my Uncle and my cousins too
they said they'd stop for just an 'our or two
on their way to town, they was drivin' through
now me and little brudder gotta handle this crew

out jumped Aunt May, hair stiff as a broom
could take her hair and sweep the room
strings of beads hangin' down her neck
that cling and clack like a train on a track

her glasses so big, 'bout covered her face
just add a handle and they'd make a rake
her eyes so big through her glasses it seemed
like seeing the moon winking back at me

with perfume bought at the five and dime
so strong it makes me dang near cry
she gives a big hug and squeezes so tight
I think my eyes might pop right out

she takes a seat, plops down on the couch
then tells Uncle Remus to sit on down
he takes a seat right by her side
but can't get in a single word edgewise

now ol Uncle Remus, he's a nice enough guy
wears overalls purt near all the time
cause his stomach don't fit in regular pants
always scratchin' his butt like they's fire ants

his mustache goes way down his jaw
his beard so scruffy,  feels sharp as a saw
his hair on top is 'bout all gone
'cept a strand or two, 'bout a foot long

then cousins Ed and Ned, they come on in
bringin' their stuff like they's movin' in
so me and little brudder gotta make us plan
how to deal with this rowdy, unwelcome clan

now Pa leans back, just listin' in
to the ladies yappin' he's takin' in
Uncle Remus offers Pa a piece o' his chew
Pa says no thanks, my pipe'ill do

from his pocket Uncle Remus tears off a wad
then sticks that chaw in the side o' his jaw
soon a little drool comes runnin' down
and settles in a crack down the corner of his mouth

sometimes he misses the spittoon when he spits
gotta watch where you walk so's not to slip
Aunt May reaches for her tobacco can
then rolls some smokes and licks 'em end to end

now I can barely breathe, clouds of smoke fill the room
can't see the ceiling or 'cross the room
I wave it away to keep it out my face
but the smoke seems to stay right in place

now cousins Ed and Ned are meaner than dirt
Ed pulled my hair and pinched the baby's butt
they'd do anything to make youngins cry
specially little folk bout half their size

they ran to our rooms fast as they could
went to breakin' our toys like I knew they would
then Ned shot brudder with his BB gun
took another aim and said, Yall better run

so we went runnin down the hill a bit
past this place where Pa once dug a pit
me and brudder had it covered with leaves and sticks
hoping one day to catch us some ol varmint

them boys was a chasin' us fast as they could
but didn't quite know their way in our wood
we hid by a tree, just past the old pit
then we yelled out loud, Yall big dumb nitwits

runnin mad in a rage they fell down in the pit
heard em moanin' and groanin' and throwin' a fit
'cause they found out quick what was in that pit
it was the hole for the outhouse before Pa moved it

now we ran back home laughin' all the way
couldn't believe the fun we was havin' that day
Ma said, Where them boys at anyways
sista said, Oh, they went on down the hill to play

Ma said, Well, we're ready to eat
supper's on the stove, wash your hands, wipe your feet
got beans and taters, cornbread too
got sliced tomaters and a little stew

then 'bout that time them boys showed up
stinking worse than they did when they first showed up
all covered in slime and lookin' like zombies
we went to laughin' so hard, 'bout busted our tummies

when Ma found out just what we done
said, That's no way to treat your cousins
Yall go to your room now and don't come out
got to sit on down and straighten this out

she told the boys to go wash by the pump
they came back after still smelling like skunks
Uncle Remus said, It's time to be leavin' then
as me little brudder watched with a grin
from our window we yelled out, Y'all  come back again
cause me and little brudder,
sure enjoyed our kin.