In my best friend’s dorm room

Is where I was when I received the call.

I heard the words clearly

But I didn’t want to read the writings on the wall.

Mother was telling me

That my grandma had just passed

That very moment, it feels like

I hopped on a plane, and it crashed.

Thinking too fast, because I was so confused

A college student on the run, an overload to my shoes.

My eyes couldn’t help it, they had to cry

Suddenly I stopped, and whipped the tears from my eyes.

Heartbroken because she’s my second mother

Took care of me as a child, never let me suffer.

My grandma is a blessing

How can I not I love her.

It hurt my heart, just to look at her

In those hospital beds, band-aids and needles

Too much pain, looking at her like

Grandma please maintain

I saw it in her eyes

She didn’t want to go through it.

So I cried inside for her

Deep inside we all knew it

I call her Gun-Ga

That name came from my baby days

And thanks to support from my grandma

I’d say I am well raised.

An aggressive woman she was

But still sweet at heart.

My grandma is my angel

My masterpiece of art

And when I look at my life

She plays a huge role in it.

She was always the father in my life

When ever my daddy wasn’t in it.

I wouldn’t be who I am

If not for my grandma and mother

Even through arguments

We still loved each other.

My tears will dry up

But my love for my grandma, will never perish.

Taught me how to stay strong.

Her wisdom I truly cherish.

I can never forget the memories

They are a part of me.

Forgetting a thing like that

Would be to erase me.

She’d do anything for me

That is a fact

When ever I had problems

Grandma had my back

They say a big star appeared in the skies

The night God took her away.

It was a sign to all of us

God needed her more than we.

Cause now she can watch over us

Lord knows how much I’ll miss her.

One day I’ll wake up

And plan to go visit and kiss her

But this is a lifetime challenge

And she’d only want me to be strong.

So I will take my family’s hand

And tell them to hold on.

My grandma is my flesh

My grandma is my bone

Grandma helped make me a woman

She wants me to move on.

So no matter how hard

That this challenge may be.

I know I can do it

My grandma see’s it in me

I saw it in her, and now my grandma is free.

She’ll always hold my hand, she’ll help me succeed.

A strong black female, yes that’s what I call her

I will be proud to tell my future kids all about her.

If I see her in the mirror

As I wash my soft face

I know she’s smiling back at me

Taking my heart to embrace.

No need to stay on this earth

We all know it’s hell.

But I look up to my grandma

Told her I will not fail.

And as the years go by

I may shed a few tears.

Reminding myself

Of all the past years.

But we cannot prevail

If we don’t forgive our past

And even the best things in life

Won’t always last

I look at the road ahead

And I must go straight

Even when the devil tells me

“Don’t concentrate”

I will continue to be

Who my grandma helped create

Those who have not been there

Can’t relate

I put chances with opportunities

And take my place

And look heaven in the eye

With a smile on my face

And if someone asks me

How long has she been gone.

I’ll say, my grandma didn’t leave

She was just never at home.

So I look at her and say, thank you

Blessed with your love, I am Thankful.

Always and forever

I will miss you.

 3/3/1940-10/30/2008

I LOVE YOU GRANDMA. WORD CAN NOT DESCRIBE HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU, BUT I GAVE IT MY BEST SHOT. I LOVE YOU DEARLY

ALWAYS,

Nneka J. Howell (Lady Poet)

This poem is featued in my book "A Poet's Heart" and can be found via amazon.com & www.liberatedpublishing.com