-- I Close the Door --

John Herlihy

I close the door,

But it doesn’t stay shut.

I close my ears,

But the noise doesn’t let up.

I close my eyes,

But I still have vision.

I close my vision,

But still see light’s precision.

I close my mind,

But thoughts do not recede.

I close my heart,

But it continues to bleed.

I close the relation,

But the feelings still remain.

I close off my love,

But I always feel the pain.

I stop the drinking,

But I still feel all but drunk.

I never stop swimming,

But still feel all but sunk.

I try not to touch,

But I feel you all the same.

I try not to remember,

But memories come and remain.

I try not to doubt,

But uncertainty makes its way.

I try not to despair,

But the miseries still have their say.

I try to tell the truth,

But feel compulsion to lie.

I try to be true to myself,

But often on others I rely.

I try not to hide,

But feel uncomfortable in the open.

I try to keep quiet,

But at times regret things spoken.

I try to stop the wind,

But it continues to blow.

I try to stop the water,

But it continues to flow.

I open the door,

But it doesn’t stay open wide.

I try to untie my knots,

But they sometimes stay securely tied.

Whatever I do,

Always seems to come undone.

Whatever I knew,

Always seems to come unspun.

Wherever I go,

Finds me in a place unknown.

Whenever I arrive,

Always feels to me as home.

Whenever I write,

Words come freely on their own.

Whatever comes as insight,

From the light of the Muse sewn.

Every poem one last try,

To keep my door open.

Now until the day I die,

This a promise never broken.

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(c) John Herlihy 3 November 2019