Winter's Waltz (poem) by Ruan Mills on AuthorsDen

Winter's Waltz
by Ruan Mills → (All Poetry by Ruan Mills)
Rated "G" by the Author.

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Dance of unlikely lovers

He casts his spell o’er life and lust Grips tight, to freeze all faith and trust His breath instils a biting chill His icy heart burns for the kill As sunlight peeks from hardened cloud Her vivid light against his shroud All colour’s stripped, all warmth is drained But valiantly her light’s retained He takes a bow and flaunts his cloak The shadows fall and seep and soak Into the cracks of every place Yet still she taunts him face to face Step by step these lovers dance Neither leaving fate to chance Winter’s pall and Helios’ bride Dance the season side by side Until at last the time is nigh To bid farewell with rueful sigh Winter folds his dreary robe As Helios fires his mighty strobe The last of Winter’s waltz enjoyed He fades into the sunlit void He'll bide his time and wait his chance To take her hand for their next dance.

Reviewed by D. Vegas (Reader)

Reviewed on December 13, 2013

Enjoyed, Ruan.

Always,

Deborah

Reviewed by Mor Inchrory

Reviewed on November 13, 2013

Hi Ruan,
I was really enjoying reading this exercise in Iambic pentameter, until I reached the fourth stanza where you appear to opt out of the preceding meter for some reason.
I know the master poets often do it with impunity but we lesser poets need to be more circumspect.

I have taken the liberty of making slight adjustments to the last three stanzas in order to continue the preceding iambic format, you can totally ignore them if you so wish.

Step by stepped step these lovers dance
Still neither leaving fate to chance
As winter�s pall and Helios� bride
Dance season�s coldness side by side

Until at last the time is nigh
To bid a farewell with half sigh
As Winter folds it dreary robe
A Helios fires his mighty strobe

The last of winter tide enjoyed
He fades into the sunlit void
He'll bide his time and wait his chance
To take her hand in their next dance.

Time and circumstances permitting I will endeavour to read more of your work, as I do like your style.

Best Regards,
Mor.

Reviewed by Budd Nelson

very beautifully written
budd

Reviewed by Ronald Hull

Reviewed on November 9, 2013

Exquisitely beautiful. The dance of the seasons twixt hot and cold. Your rhyme is so beautiful it will never grow old.

Ron

Reviewed by Shirley Long

This is such a lovely romantic poem about two lovers dancing and
enjoying their time during the cold wintery nites and they are
thrilled with each other's love, I enjoyed reading it.

Reviewed by Odin odin@aflx.com

I don't think I've read a better metaphor of love in a very long time. I always say, when in doubt, call upon nature to convey all there is to know... and understand.

Reviewed by Michael True

You not only convey the cold/darkness of the season but also the cavalier actions of those wintery elements. A smart and well paced poem! M.True

Reviewed by E Phillips

Reviewed on November 8, 2013

Ach du lieber Gott! What vivid language.
So incisive and wondrous, flowing in cascades
of daring and beauty and confrontation. Who
will win this standoff? I'm betting on the lady...

Reviewed by Morgan Merriweather

so beautifully written and so picturesque.

Reviewed by Jerry Bolton

A dance for the universe. Well, at least earth. It is a timeless dance, one without romance, merely one by chance.