Get yourself outta that funk.
There is no time for all that junk.
The reaper will visit soon enough.
Buck up dude you know you are tough.
To have survived as many time as you have.
Get outside, but make it quick.
Winter's near and you'll freeze off your dick.
LMAO...I crack myself up sometimes.


~W~

I empathise with your words...perhaps you will find the key to unlock those things to do to do that you thirst...
I also agree with Jane's words, that you 'give' every time you write your poems that we can read, enjoy and relate to...I'm sure there is much appreciation on here for your words....
I find walks in Nature always help...a walk also releases that very much 'happiness' chemical Serotonin....:-)
Best wishes, Diana....

We can be too hard on ourselves, we have to seek others to stay in perspective.

My 90-year-old mother called me again yesterday, 4 pm on Monday, like she always does (her choice, not mine. Her assisted living environment and her hearing impairment make it difficult for her to answer the phone if I call). I used to keep up with all my family members' birthdays. But we are now older, so I only remember my mother's on January 2.

As for your situation, It's hard for me to give advice because my situation is so much different. But I'll try. It seems that your lifestyle, your past, and age, although you are only 60, has caught up with you.

Since your last brush with death, your writing is much better, clearer. You can change the sleepless nights by increasing exercise (I think you're already doing that) changing your diet (I know it's hard, but you know what's best for you), and establishing a routine where you go to bed at the same time every night without distracting sound or light. Avoid eating at least a couple of hours before going to bed.

And, most of all follow Scott's advice to put "sparkle" back in your life. Here, I would suggest that you start writing a novel, one chapter at a time. You can focus on seafaring or surfing, or even your favorite Walden. Push yourself to go where you've never gone before and do a lot of Internet research to make your story more authentic. Spend a few hard hours on it (not on social interactions with other people) every day until you are very tired. When you go to bed very tired, you will sleep a deep sleep. If your story is emotional or intense enough, your dreams will be of your story and not your life.

I hope this helps. Once in a while, like last week when I couldn't get my car back to Houston, I have nights like that, and they're not much fun.

Ron

Ed, you give every time you write a poem! I know your poems make me smile even when I'm blue. I thank you for that.

Love ya!

Jane

I can't remember your birthday, Ed, even though it's three days before mine. I'd have to remember my birthday first.

The rest of your poem resounds even more intimately. I've been there and it's not fun. Find a sparkle and go for it.

Your friend,

Scott

You are certainly not alone in such thinking and feeling, Ed. Love and peace to you,

Regis

poignant read, you care for critters, many do not, that alone says quality

m

I can pretty much relate, Ed. About those birthdays, I never remember them. Never.