Here, Thiru-Valluvar, supposedly the author of the Thiruk-Kural (the Tamil treatise on ethics), prior to the, say, 8th Century C.E., discourses on the status and qualities of women: cf. my book - The Thiruk-Kural by Thiru-Valluvar, The Secular Yogi in the Temple. Allahabad: Cyberwit, 2018, 84p.
Thiru-Valluvar on Praising Ladies of their qualities: Canto 112 - Nalam Punainthu Uraiththal
[The poet devotes the third part of his treatise, the Thiruk-Kural to INBATHTHUPPAAL, the amorous relationship between the sexes, i.e., cantos 109 to 133. of which the first seven concerns itself with "concealed love" (the Gandharva marriage) while the last seventeen has to do with "wedded life".
Even if the place of the Hindu woman was at home, at the service of the man of the house, the mother's position in the family constellation was the holiest of all. The Tamil poetess, AVVAIYAAR (often linked to Thiru-Valluvar for her catechistic aphorisms) has this well-known dictum on the spiritual inviolability of the "Mother" in her didactic work, KONRAI VEENTHAN: "Thaayit siranthu oru koyilum illai" (There is no greater temple than the mother.)
When it comes to the fairer sex, Thiru-Valluvar waxes romantically poetic in exquisite verses on love and beauty and pleasurable feelings; yet, on the other hand, he was quite obviously writing at a time when his society entertained no notion of "women's rights". The woman was wife and child-bearer, required to be absolutely sub-servient and devoted to her husband - even worshiping him as her only God - while maintaining her position often under dire circumstances as the mainstay of domestic life. In most homes, she was cook, house-cleaner, washer-woman, servant, principal draper, slave to her husband, child-raiser and even the first teacher to her children, and she accomplished all this without setting foot out of the house, un-accompanied. She was the last in the family to bed herself down, and the first to be up before dawn. By the time she reached thirty, she was hard-put to retain her innate charms. Note also that she was forced to wed her husband, chosen by parents, while still in her early teens.
Loose women, prostitutes and the unchaste wife were held to be the lowliest and vilest of beings; hence the bearing of sons conferred merit on her. Until the British administration abolished the practice of SUTTEE, widows were still - as late as in the nineteenth century - required to jump into the flaming fires of their husbands' pyres. What's worse, not until 1957, divorce in Hindu marriage was recognized by law: husbands could visit brothels or maintain mistresses, but the wife délaissée simply had to take it all - or nothing - lying down. In a certain incremental number of cases, very young girls, including orphans, were offered/sacrificed to the local temple to serve as "temple dancers", an euphemism for pedophily on the part of priests and the propertied classes/castes. Polygamy was not unknown to the rich, while the princely WARRIOR-caste (kshastriya) maintained "harems" at will. Often the latter caste of rajas/princes would wage against one another large sums to see who could "de-flower" the greatest number of virgins in any given year. No wonder the Muslim invaders found it easy to over-run (and split-up) the sub-continent with their superior fleet-footed cavalry as opposed to the clumsy slow-moving armada of elephants and peasant foot-soldiers with scant military training.
It is therefore not surprising that the THIRUK-KURAL re-inforces the inferior social status of the fairer sex, though the dalliances of chaste love-play receive in our poet's eyes all the respect and jouissance the liana-like damsel deserves.] T. Wignesan
K1111: nalniirai vaali anichcham* ninninum
melniiral yaamviil paval
[*anichcham = according to Pope, "an imaginary (?) flower, the poet's commonplace for anything peculiarly delicate and sensitive"]
O flower of the sensitive plant! than thee
More tender's the maiden beloved by me. (Transl. G.U. Pope)
May you flourish, O Anicham! you have a delicate nature. But my beloved is more delicate than you. (Transl. Drew & Lazarus)
All Hail! to your exquisite nature, Anichcham!* By comparison
infinitely more tender is the one I love! (Transl. T. Wignesan)
[* the mythic anichcham flower is supposed to fade once it's smelt. Note the sexual connotations.]
As tender shoot her frame; teeth pearls; around her odours blend;
Darts are the eyes of her whose shoulders like the bambu bend. (Transl. G.U. Pope)
The complexion of this bamboo-shouldered one is that of a shoot; her teeth are pearls; her breath, fragrance; and her dyed eyes, lances. (Transl Drew & Lazarus)
Slender with pearls for teeth, enveloped in sweet-scented aura,
Her eyes lances darting over pliant bamboo shoulders - [‘that's my gal’, says the poet!] (Transl. T. Wignesan)
Very interesting, your discussion of the double standard for Hindu households. Yet all of that poetry and song, still reveled in by Hollywood extravaganzas, all full of love and beauty for a woman's (youthful) charms. That may be the biggest reason for secrecy in revealing the nature of society in the first place.
Kimberly has gone from a well-paid female executive one minute to a desperate woman the next. Thinking her day can't possibly get any worse, she finds out how wrong she is when she goes home. The only way to set things straight is to get even.
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