Of all kinds of balls, it's the soft-ball that doesn't respond to a whack...
IF EVER I HAD A COUNTRY: LXXXIII
IF ever I had a country, a country where I were, by virtue of the highly
meritorious and exceptional services rendered to the State in conning and
duping the People, persuaded to assume the role
of Ministre d’Etat without Portfolio or duty
I would – I solemnly assure you, the Common Folk –first and foremost focus my
very close attention on the questions of feminist practices discriminatory
And having noticed aghast with utter shame, disgust and fury that in some
countries women (sadly excluding trans-gender athletes) are treated with
utmost disregard, enmity and indignity
As for example, they being downgraded to the abysmal level of having to play
Soft-Ball (what’s that? “Round-us”?) while men knock-about with hard
base-minded balls of virility
I’ll invite the Minister of Sports to my official well-leathered and cushy
chambers to see how I esteem my Personal Secretary by letting her turn up
for work in her swim-suit with her pet monkey on her knee
And I’ll warn him, nay, threaten him with my wagging fore-finger, on how I’ll
under-cut his Olympic Budget in half if he didn’t thenceforth authorize
soft-ball gals to cavort on the pitch with just the women’s Beach Volley Ball
suit – with no “strings” attached – for all, including frustrated
cameramen looking vainly for the “opening” shot…. for all to see
And this, even if I were doomed to be strung up on the White House Christmas
Tree
So be it, even if I never ever had no country nor squash racquet to bash balls soft
or hard care-free
Hey, Ron, what are you trying to do: take the candy right out of my butt! I was planning the next number in the sequence for the "beach boys".
I think you've got it in for me. Afghanistan! Pull the beard of Mullah Xerxes, the First?
As for being Stateless and therefore safe within the State. Far from it. The State tightens the screws with delight till the rib-cage is practically crushed. I had three wonderful opportunities in scholarships to settle in the States. Did I really make a mistake in refusing them. The fault is not in the stars, but in my genes, my friend.
Never liked softball. My father was a real man who could lift 500 pounds with ease, but spend at least 20 years of his life playing softball in a league until he was 45 and wondering why he was playing with kids half his age.
I dig the irony. I heard that one beach volleyball team was chastised for covering up. Why aren't the men wearing bikini bottoms and titillating half shirt tops? They are all facing the heat and the cameras, aren't they. Give the gay spectators a break!
You play hardball when it comes to the ministry. Just keep it up. They can't do anything with you because you don't have a country. I hear that Afghanistan is a good place to run off to these days.
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I think you've got it in for me. Afghanistan! Pull the beard of Mullah Xerxes, the First?
As for being Stateless and therefore safe within the State. Far from it. The State tightens the screws with delight till the rib-cage is practically crushed. I had three wonderful opportunities in scholarships to settle in the States. Did I really make a mistake in refusing them. The fault is not in the stars, but in my genes, my friend.
I dig the irony. I heard that one beach volleyball team was chastised for covering up. Why aren't the men wearing bikini bottoms and titillating half shirt tops? They are all facing the heat and the cameras, aren't they. Give the gay spectators a break!
You play hardball when it comes to the ministry. Just keep it up. They can't do anything with you because you don't have a country. I hear that Afghanistan is a good place to run off to these days.
Ron