Santa’s Home!

By: Rose Rideout and Felix Perry

Old Santa is weary he’s tired and sore

he’s criss-crossed the country

a hundred times or more

He sits in his chair with whimpering cry

for there’s stands Mrs. Claus

in a red nightie that’s fly

He cracks open a beer oh that ‘s so nice

it was a hard day at the malls

dam, one kid gave him lice

So he loosens his pants turns on the TV

thinks he’ll watch a game

Mrs. Claus says it isn’t to be

She turns off the TV says it’s time for bed

grabs Santa’s old bag

as he just shakes his head

His mind not on sex but still on the game

says he’ll be along in a moment

the old lady drives him insane

Rudolph’s nose gives a romantic glow

Mrs. Claus strips to the bone

now Santa’s passion does grow

He huffs and he puffs in the wink of an eye

He yells Merry Christmas you hoe, hoe, hoe

And now you know why…

Santa only comes once a year!