Someone was staring at
Me from across the room.
The expression was
Grim at first;
A shadowy semblance
Of something indefinite and
Not worth my time, but the more
I watched, the more an itching desire
Lured me to observe …
.
I could make out
Sullen eyes reflected
On cracked shards; a face
Etched with antithetical lines;
Someone vaguely familiar
Staring at me stoically;
Studying me;
Causing me to question
If this other was seeing me
Perhaps as someone downcast,
Or burdened emotionally, or perhaps
Downtrodden from difficult years spent
Striving for what was well beyond my grasp…
.
While
Considering
What this others
Real intentions may be;
The expression turned insulting.
Recoiling; I decided to mirror back
This sudden provocation and
Aroused the most
Acidulous response I
Was capable of mustering.
The others reaction shocked me
As I saw a far more brazen expression
Directed back at me. Now,
My spine began stiffening, and I
Felt myself being deluged by loathing.
How dare this other!
Staring mutely;
A wash of stony-emotions
Painted the moments muzzy.
It seemed apparent now
That this other
Had pigeonholed me
Just another dirt-bag as I had him.
It was obvious [too] that I was being targeted
With disparaging prejudice and there was no way
I could EVER justify this kind of acrimony…
.
Both faces [now] had utter
Contempt for the other,
And both faces were
Fixed on the other
In unwavering
Acerbity.
A flood of emotions
Boiled up inside. And then
Sails of remorse billowed open, as
The thought gripped me of a hardworking
Man’s accomplishments writhing on a
Scorching desert floor; a looser
With only aggressive rancor
Now in his arsenal…
.
Bursting
Into tears,
I saw the other
Doing the same.
Leaning forward
I watched the other
Doing exactly the same.
Reaching out with my hands,
The other mimicked me precisely.
In suddenness I jumped to my feet shaking
As I realized that this
Other was not another at all –
It was clearly me, and how others saw me,
And where the justicative snares had held me
Captive for most of my life…

richard lloyd cederberg
9/16

An individual’s feelings are self-justifying, with a set of perceptions and ‘proofs’ all their own. Our emotional mind will harness the rational mind to its purposes – feelings, reactions, rationalizations - justifying them in terms of the present moment without realizing the influence of our emotional memory. People will forget what you said. They will forget what you did. They will forget what you’ve written. But they will never forget how you made them feel.



     richardlloydcederberg.com