Looking back…
.
Perhaps it started out one-sided,
Liberating you from all that I discerned,
Expecting more from my efforts than I should,
And never actually knowing a whole lot about you
Save those things I thought were revealing intuitions
Exposing what I assumed we both wanted,
.
Did I see your intentions wrong,
Or did I whelm your heart with insights?
Not intentionally mind you, but perhaps me
Taking and assuming too much left you numb…
.
Maybe I expected you to see me
In all the ways I envisioned myself.
Sifting through my musical genius, and
Understanding my deepest mysteries was
Never what you wanted though. Still, I was protective.
Don’t be duped by dabblers, I said. You know that
Every field is polluted with dilettantes and users.
Repugnant lot they are, manipulating to
Satisfy their victims with frivolous insights; all
Tantamount to wet cardboard and watery coffee.
Actually, I freaked when you dumped me for a drummer.
Not that I was all that, but I wonder, still, at times, honestly,
Did I push you away because I was always too sure of myself?
.
Most definitely, you taught me something about affinities,
Everyone needs to feel loved, understood, and special... Everyone.
.
© richard lloyd cederberg
7/2023
.
THE PORTRAYAL SERIES: Poetiprose insights concerning my immediate family and old friends (alive or dead). This series will also address certain of the actors, artists, musicians, and writers I worked with in college, or professionally, that were influential (in one way or another) in shaping the man I am today.
          A NEW RACE OF HuMANS...