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Ronald W. Hull

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Out the Window
by Ronald W. Hull → (All Poetry by Ronald W. Hull)
   Rated "G" by the Author.
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Thought that I’d write another silly love song. The idea seemed great at first, but fell flat in the writing.


Poem Artwork

 

Out the Window


My love flew out the window,
and landed on a sunny day.
I was blue for a moment,
before it went away.


Refrain
My love flew out the window,
and landed on a sunny day.

In the park there was a pond,
where all the fishes swam.
With so many fishes I could see,
and they could see who I am.

With so many fishes in the pond,
my chances were quite bright.
To catch a fish just for me,
before the coming night.

Refrain

The sun went down too soon,
and it got quite dark.
I had not caught that special one,
and had to leave the park.

But I did not hide in gloom,
of my bad luck that day.
I ventured out into the dark,
to dance the night away.

Refrain

Sometime near dawn,
I found the one.
She grabbed my arm,
and my search was done.

I don't regret my love flew out,
the window on a sunny day.

Refrain

Copyright 2012 © Ronald W. Hull

10/25/12

 


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 Reviews of "Out the Window"
Reviewed by Carol Ann Phelan
Reviewed on February 1, 2013
This is a lovely write! It had me singing from beginning to end.

May your quill continue to soar.

With respect,

Carol Phelan Aebby

Reviewed by Jon Willey
Reviewed on November 8, 2012
Rita Coolidge, "close the window, calm the light". I don't know why Ron, but that is what came immediately to mind when I read this. As
a Kristofferson fan you probably remember that song. I wish you love and peace my dear friend. Jon Michael

Reviewed by Bernice Angoh
Reviewed on November 5, 2012
Beautifully written

Reviewed by William Bonilla
Reviewed on November 2, 2012
well penned enjoyed all the imagery
peace be with you

William

Reviewed by Rebecca McKeehan
Reviewed on November 1, 2012
I enjoyed this poem and the message behind it. Nice work!

Reviewed by jude forese
Reviewed on November 1, 2012
works nicely, Ron ...

Reviewed by Kate Burnside
Reviewed on October 31, 2012
I think the idea is very successful, Ron. It's upbeat and catchy and following on from the analogy of "plenty more fish in the sea", how about incorporating stanzas to end on that involve "another bird in the bush" to go with "love flying out of the window"... All light-hearted humour, of course. Just a thought. Nope, not flat at all... this has wings! :)) xx

Reviewed by Richard Cederberg
Reviewed on October 30, 2012
Enjoyed the gist and feel of this, Ron. Peace ...

Reviewed by Laurel Lamperd
Reviewed on October 30, 2012
I think it would go very nicely accompanied with a guitar too. More folk than country. I imagine a gentle woman's voice singing it.

Reviewed by Teresa Walker
Reviewed on October 29, 2012
They always say if you let it go, it returns with more to give...Let go and enjoy the open window of more to come!!!..

Enjoyed Ron!!

TW

Reviewed by Myrna Badgerow
Reviewed on October 29, 2012
I smiled as I read this... I hear a guitar as accompaniment... very nicely done..))
Myrna

Reviewed by Dark Knight
Reviewed on October 28, 2012
sounds like this would make a nice song for the radio

Reviewed by pat medlin
Reviewed on October 28, 2012
was a good read...will look forward to the re vamp...pat

Reviewed by Annabel Sheila
Reviewed on October 28, 2012
Awesome! Light and lively.....and I love the lyrical lilt of your words, Ronald!

Anna

Reviewed by D. Vegas (Reader)
Reviewed on October 28, 2012
Not bad, Ron.

Deborah

Reviewed by Vivian Dawson
Reviewed on October 28, 2012
A country song perhaps
*Ron* after a love lost
comes a new album of
finding it..

Lady Vivian

Reviewed by Stephen Cherring
Reviewed on October 28, 2012
A regret [poem

Reviewed on October 28, 2012
I wonder if the owner of those clothes
got there before she came down with
some gasoline & a wood match...

Reviewed by Ronald Hull
Reviewed on October 28, 2012
Thanks to comments by Jerry Bolton and Mor Inchrory. I've changed the poem/song for the better. I have no melody, but can sing it, if you can stand my voice. I will have to learn how to add music to my poems like some of you do so beautifully.

I have two here, Johnny's Gotta Gun and Desecrate, that turned out rather poorly. ;-)

Ron

Reviewed by Liana Margiva
Reviewed on October 28, 2012
BEAUTIFUL, VERY BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOUR WORDS!!!!!!!!!! Liana Margiva

Reviewed by Mr. Ed
Reviewed on October 28, 2012
Your song reminds me of the old adage - out with the old, in with the new.

Reviewed by Mor Inchrory
Reviewed on October 28, 2012
Hi Ron,
Life is a constant successions of up and downs, one has to just grin and get on with it.

I am not sure which tune you had in mind for this, the steps appear to me to be a bit uneven.

However, with slight adjustments you could make it into a nice Irish ballad.

Its shame, that this site does not have a recording facility.

Try this amended stanza with the tune of “The Wild Colonial Boy” in mind.

My love flew out the window,
to land on a sunny day.
I was blue for a moment.
Before, it went away.

Best Regards,

Mor.

Reviewed by Mary Patterson
Reviewed on October 27, 2012
I bet it would mke a nice song. i'd liketo hear the melody...M

Reviewed by Regis Auffray
Reviewed on October 27, 2012
There is nothing wrong with a song inspired by thoughts of love. Thank you for sharing it, Ron. Love and peace,

Regis

Reviewed by Paul Berube
Reviewed on October 27, 2012
Nicely done, my friend.

Reviewed by Budd Nelson
Reviewed on October 27, 2012
cool song my friend i like it
budd

Reviewed on October 27, 2012
Great song for those
who have rid themselves
of what wasn't ideal...

And not to regret is
marvelous! LOL

Cute little ditty Ron

Love and Light
Lily

Reviewed on October 27, 2012
So, you got kicked out and made the best of it.....'went fishing for a new one??? I love the fact that you only felt blue for a moment!

Love ya!

Jane

Reviewed by E Phillips
Reviewed on October 27, 2012
Your love flew out the window
On a bright and sunny day
This has the classic signs of one
You left and didn’t pay.

Reviewed by Jerry Bolton
Reviewed on October 27, 2012
Aw, it got a little lopsided around the stanza, "But I did not hide in gloom, / my luck of that day. / I ventured out into the dark, / to dance the night away."

Until this it was just fine. Sorry you didn't catch that fish to fry up in a cast-iron skillet. Oh yeah!


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