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Leland Waldrip

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Member Since: Aug, 2001

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Once Apun a Time
by Leland Waldrip → (All Poetry by Leland Waldrip)
   Rated "G" by the Author.
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I'm passing on this list of groaners I just got in an email. Maybe you'll smile too.


Poem Artwork

Y ou can't read this and stay in a bad mood !


1.  How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
Unique Up On It.


2.  How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
Tame Way.


3.  How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest ?
They Take The Psycho Path


4.  How Do You Get Holy Water?
You Boil The Hell Out Of It.


5.  What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?
Dam!


6.  What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long? 
Polaroid's


7.  What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?
A Stick


8.  What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
Nacho Cheese.


9. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.


10.  What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
Quattro Sinko..


11.  What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?
Spoiled Milk.


12.  What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?
Frostbite.


13.  What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
A Nervous Wreck.


14.  What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
Anyone Can Roast Beef.


15.  Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?
Right Where You Left Him.


16.  Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
Because They Have Big Fingers.


17.  Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
Because It Scares The Dog.


18.  What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
Sanka.


19.  What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover ?!
The Location Of The Dirt Bag.


20.  Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat.


21.  What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver?
A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang!
A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang!  Whack.


22.  How Are a Texas Tornado And a Tennessee Divorce The Same? 
Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer


Now, admit it.  At least one of these made you smile.


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 Reviews of "Once Apun a Time"
Reviewed by Kimmy Van Kooten
Reviewed on June 21, 2007
read these to two of my boys tonight...(there 16 and 19)
We had fun! Thanks for the laugh!
Love and Peace~
Kimmy~

Reviewed by Regis Auffray
Reviewed on April 6, 2007
Thanks for sharing the smiles, Leland. Love and peace to you,

Regis

Reviewed on March 30, 2007

Thank You for sharing "Once Apun a Time".

Healthy Blissful weekend.


Andre Emmanuel Bendavi ben-YEHU

Reviewed by Ronald Hull
Reviewed on March 30, 2007
One pun a time is enough. Now I've got a belly laugh ache.

Groan.

Ron

Reviewed by Karen Palumbo
Reviewed on March 30, 2007
Adoringly cute, interesting and fanciful. Enjoyed.
Be safe,
Karen

Reviewed by Tinka Boukes
Reviewed on March 30, 2007
Man i was smiling all the way...not only it was funny but because you are here sharing it...Tsk :)!!

Love Tinka :)

Reviewed by C. J. Stevens
Reviewed on March 30, 2007
A lot of smiles! Thank you, Leland, in the weird world today each smile is a treasure.
CJ

Reviewed by Elizabeth Taylor (Reader)
Reviewed on March 30, 2007
Smile...

Reviewed by Jibril Mohamed
Reviewed on March 30, 2007

Normal questions with unanticipated answers here. It reminded me of a Somali drama where One of the characters was asked to complete some proverbs and he came up with different phrases to finish them.

Thank you.

Abdullahi

Reviewed by Mr. Ed
Reviewed on March 30, 2007
Yes they did! Definitely Numbers 17 and 22, but since I'm always in the forest, and pretty whacky, my favorite is:

3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest ?
They Take The Psycho Path



New Poetry by Leland Waldrip
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