Screw the Phone

One of her hands I am holding
The other she holds my phone
I have one hand free
And it's scratching my cheekbone
Were should that hand be
Let it swing so merrily?
As we walk along the beach
Cause every time I try to grab my phone
She keeps it out of reach

So I Wisk her up in my big strong arms
And run into the water
Still she’s on the phone
Talking with her mother
As we submerge beneath the bubbles
I think is my watch waterproof
And in my pocket is a load of cash
Screw the phone
In the other was my stash

I walk out the water with bright blue lips
She's still holding the phone as it drips
My pockets are empty and the watch has stopped
I hang my head and feel totally sopped
I look at her she looks at me
Then drops the mobile clumsily
A wave comes in filled with hope
No more mother-in-law
And no more dope