I was such

A troubled child,

Filled like a cauldron

With roiling emotions.

Looking back

I can only now see

The evidence of

The illness

That would nearly

Decimate

My life,

And rob me of it

As well,

And I can

At long last see

That you suffered

As I have,

Only you were never

So fortunate

As I was

To know,

And to accept,

That there are people,

Professionals,

That can bring healing

To a wounded heart

And spirit.

I have now

Reached the point

In my own healing

When I can say

I understand you,

The undiagnosed illness

And the childhood traumas

That made life

So unbearable for you.

I do not know

If you ever loved me

Or if you, in fact,

Hated me,

But I know

That a child’s love

For her mother

Is a forgiving love

And I am, at long last,

At peace

With the past.