All I'd wanted was
To love you.
After watching you
From afar
For so long,
I had known you to be
Someone I could admire,
Someone I could respect,
Someone worthy of
Receiving my heart.
It's not something
I give lightly,
Never something
To be offered
Without care.
I believed you were
Someone to whom I
Could entrust it.
Yet when the time came
That you finally saw me,
Rather than kindness,
You looked upon me
In horror
And disgust.
No simple denial,
You sought to gut me
And consign me to
A black hole of
Worthlessness.
But, you know,
After that first shock,
After the hot ball of
Pain and shame
Rolled by,
I realized
It wasn't I who
Fell short;
Rather,
It was you!
For you
Are but a facade,
A paper tiger,
A figment of
Your own imagination.
And while my pride
Has taken
A significant blow,
My heart, at least,
Remains intact
And ready
For someone real
And genuinely worthy
Of its gift.

c. 2020