i would have liked to been your
wife, your partner for life. you
wouldn't let me: i never could
measure up to your perfection.
all i heard was how ugly i was,
how stupid, how fat: the only
time you touched me was to
satisfy your need. no matter
if i was sick, it was my duty to
spread my legs. Christmas
morning: my present forgotten
in the shock of you announcing
you wanted a divorce. your
parents came to town, i had to
pretend nothing was wrong. i
wasn't the actress you wanted
me to be. they knew. you took
my son away from me, had me
sign my rights away, because i
was too unstable (you said) -
i was sick. depressed. by the
time i realized it, it was too late
- no mother should be without
her son. it's been like a death -
no wonder i can't love any more.
Some pains never go away...
But you are wrong, Karla, you do love...all of us feel your love and are so grateful for your stability and unending support for each of us.
Karla sadness fills my heart as I see what you have gone through. You are a beautiful person Karla and it appears you have been more than cheated of life. God has a plan dear and one day it will be more than clear. You take care and know that we have you in our prayers and thoughts.
Karla my friend...you've brought tears to my eyes with this powerful and deep write. I thought about the courage and strength that it has taken to put your thoughts, emotions, heart and your soul into words for others to read. Isn't it strange how we can have such hurtful and emotional things buried deep and one day they emerge like a volcano erupting and spill out everywhere. Know that you are loved by all here at the den, and appreciated for the beautiful person that you are. Your words flow from you pen with heart and soul. Thinking of you, never forget what a truly special person you really are!
Blessings from your friend in Ky.
Joyce B.
Gutted, Karla. What a story - beyond belief, given the beauty and strength and overcoming resiliance you portray in your writing here on the Den. I am speechless with sorrow for you. Perhaps we can all know and learn from such experiences (even very minor ones!) that love is so much bigger than what often happens between two, sometimes very mismatched people. A wrong relationship will tend to bring out the worst in all of us and make us very depressed. I am so sad that a less-than-happy combination of "two" spilled over into affecting a very precious "third". I pray that, in time, resolution may come and that your relationship with your child will be restored. May these awful "locust years" be returned to you in full - not the same, having missed what you have... but metamorphosed in some different and special way. My love and prayers are with you... to add to the already heart-busting oodles below! :)) xx You ARE loved. xx
Karla, sweetheart, how sad to know of the hidden life of one that can put pen to paper (spiritually)as well and beautifully as you do.
Yes, your words are sometimes on the dark side, but, yes... a huge yes, your words can and do also lift the heart and spirit of those that read your words... So sad you found and married an unfeeling, stupid beast. Most men are not that way and I can only hope you can open your mind and heart to let the next man...a much better man inside.
Your friend in southern California: Mark
Oh Carla, words on a screen cannot do the magic of sweeping the pain from your heart. I understand the depth of your injury as you know and I love you my dear friend. I try to remember daily that the God of this universe is capable of anything and everything and tho I do not have my kids I know HE does. And if I have to be out of the way for a time for Him to do His work on their hearts, I am glad to do it. In the mean time He has done a great work on my life as well. "Trust and obey, for there's no other way, to be happy in Jesus, then to trust and obey." words from a very old hymn I use to sing. Love in Him, J'nia
Old memories are like the things coming out of that Pandora Box, God should have given us a spiritual shovel so we could had buried them on an unmarked grave.
Georg
Reviewed by Lori Moore
Reviewed on June 22, 2009
Sharing this proves your strength. I am so sorry this happened to you.
Oh dear Karla, this has brought tears to well up in my eyes and your pain is palpable and I fear I am at a loss for words to express my desire to comfort your heart ... I do so hope you feel the love here for you and know you are not alone in your pain. Love and many warm hugs, Elizabeth
Karla,
Everyone here loves you for the great soul you are, never forget that. We're not there to hold your hand but our hearts and spirits are there and I know you can feel them wrap around you.
John
Karla, I can hardly comment, I feel so sad for what you went through,and to be without your son,is almost unimaginable. You are strong,and your faith is too,and I thank God for His caring for you all this time.
Karla, I can sens and feel your pain in this poem. You have been through more that alot. I wish you much peace and know how much your are loved by Jesus- who knows and understands all your pain.I am so sorry you have had such a hard life. I hope that your life now is better and in the future will hold much happiness.
This is so sad- I hope this rotten person is no longer in your life-and I hope you can love again one day, so he doesn't win. Blessings, Michelle P.S. This is one of your best.
Cruelty comes in many forms and this is the worst. You have proven to be a strong woman full of belief in God and the determination to see this battle through to the end. They cannot take away your belief in yourself and the love you have for your son. My prayers go out to you.
Life can be so cruel to us at times but you are a remarkable woman to have survived and grown with your faith, your writing and your family. My heart goes out to you...
hugs
fee
Whoa! A powerful cathartic here dear Karla. I am sorry you had to endure this. Appropriate pic ... pensive, contemplative. You are loved in this camp. Stand Strong!
Blessings ...
Hear, hear, Rebecca! And I happen to be her twin; so I love her with every fibre of my being! Karla, I am so sorry you went through this hell; no woman deserves to be treated like this, least of all you! Powerfully gut wrenching heartbreak; well penned!
(((HUGS))) and much love, your twin, Karen Lynn. :( >tears! <
Oh, Karla, what a heart-wrenching write! My own heart aches for you. Know that you are loved and appreciated here on The Den, more than you know. Rebecca
Sexuality is very misunderstood.What if the tornado dropped Dorothy not into Oz, but onto the shooting set of an X-rated film?
Eric Edwards makes sex films. Period... Sex-on-command. Sex-for-hire.... So begins the story of Eric Edwards, Mr.
A book for every Muslim and everyone wishing to know about their way of life. The Diary of the Camp Manager at Mundihar following the South Asian Earthquake - October 2005. An account of life after the Earthquake in one of the largest of the 161 camp
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This is so sad, and also something I did not know about you. Thank you for sharing this personal story. Love and Hugs,
Sheila
But you are wrong, Karla, you do love...all of us feel your love and are so grateful for your stability and unending support for each of us.
Cryssa
Newfie hugs are on the way, Rose
Blessings from your friend in Ky.
Joyce B.
Yes, your words are sometimes on the dark side, but, yes... a huge yes, your words can and do also lift the heart and spirit of those that read your words... So sad you found and married an unfeeling, stupid beast. Most men are not that way and I can only hope you can open your mind and heart to let the next man...a much better man inside.
Your friend in southern California: Mark
Georg
Everyone here loves you for the great soul you are, never forget that. We're not there to hold your hand but our hearts and spirits are there and I know you can feel them wrap around you.
John
Love and prayers,
Eileen
With Love,
Cindy
the horrors of the past...and know that you are loved by
your legion of AD friends. Love, gene.
peace and love, Carole~
Love
Christine
George
hugs
fee
Blessings ...
(((HUGS))) and much love, your twin, Karen Lynn. :( >tears! <