When bored, when stressed, I pull out my hair. Literally. Not all of the time, but when I'm severely stressed. This is one of those times. Pray for me.
My eyes peer around in
shame, wondering if
anyone else sees my
hand select the next victim.
(I've learned to disguise
their motion in a twitch
of the hand.)
My head itches. Bored. How
do you label compulsion?
Look deep into my eyes as
I sequester the next one
and decide its fate --
one quick yank and the deed
is done: banished from my
head and into the trash to join
the others. Single strands.
Whole knots accuse me of
my crime: guilty as charged.
My scalp screams in protest:
what are you doing? IT
HURTS!! Why do I do this?
The ba(l)d spot on my head
a mute testimony to where it
once lived with its sisters,
growing ever bigger.
About the size of my palm
now. Much more and the
comb-over won't work.
Who do I think I am? The
Donald? YOU'RE FIRED!
as I pull out another one.
Sleight of hand: a magician's
tric(h)k that's ruining my life.
Satisfaction momentarily
eases the depression and
stress until the next time.
I'm ugly.
I'm bored.
I hate this but
don't know how
to stop ...
The spiral of depression that leads to this can be broken - I know! Much of it often stems from false self-perception and inordinate concern for the opinions of others. Believe in yourself and your gifts, dismiss others from your mind and dwell in a place of internal peace for a while. I promise you the world looks different after that. A wise person once said, "What others think of you is none of your business". Good luck Karla.
Damnit, Karla, you are NOT ugly! Stop beating yourself up like this! Wish I could take some of the stress away, but I can't. Praying for you! Heartbreakingly penned!
(((HUGS))) and much love, your twin, Karen Lynn. :(
The story of Ron Hull, paralyzed in a surgical accident back in the dreaded polio epidemic days, was able to overcome most of the stigma and stereotypes and "pass for normal" for 30 years. As Ron's paralysis increased gradually through the next 20
Margaret Kohel Evans invites her mother's grandchildren to a delightful visit with their grandmother, sharing charming memories of her across eighteen life themes.
In Christs Love
Michelle~
Ron
budd
God does not make mistakes.
We have wrinkles and spots but He sure loves us a lot.
Love and blessings to you,
John Michael Domino
(((HUGS))) and much love, your twin, Karen Lynn. :(