I’m losing control

And my mind explodes,

As you take up permanent

Residence there refusing to leave,

While bringing me to my knees,

As you laugh at my confusion.

It is true that I invited

You freely and unconditionally

Into the sanctuary of my world,

Not knowing the pain you would

And could inflict unmercifully while not knowing-

The difference between pain and love.

And though I shutter at the thought

Of the ravages yet to come

That will surely end in total

Annihilation of my total being,

I am torn between you and self-preservation

And release is not in my power or will.

Even with knowing that misery is close at hand,

There is that thin sliver of hope

That you will either love

Or release me from the pain when that time comes,

After you learn the difference-

And find the time to care.