January nineteen, two frikkin thousand
and nine, I am told I will be seventy.
'k, add six. That is years. That is
Miz Methuselah, scootch your butt
over. They make catalogs
for us. They made AARP.
Catalogs look nothing like Victoria's
Secret. Esquire they're definitively
not. High style is a muu-muu
with Grandma's Precious Tykes
or a thermal tee says Grandpa Likes
to get the Blues. [Viagra, duh.]
Got our choice of dewrinklers
and despotters. Do note the nice
selection of vibrators if you like
to relax. Also got this jumbo tray
of eyeshadow bright enough to light
LAX. Makes me think of Ex-Lax.
Got all that. . .almost said crap!
Good thing I' am too much of a fool
to switch plans from writing the big'n
to huddling in a Slanket, speed-ordering
diamonds, quote-unquote. This is one
broad who is creating her own
catalog. Brad on the cover, natch.
Dimpled grin and spandex, rrrrrrrrruff!!
Angie who? Oh, Angie's in Angola
If you get my drift. By the way,
have any of you got the address for
that new magazine, Aging Gracefully
is a Load of Manure? How about,
Tell Them Where They can Put
Their "Geezer" and "Little Ole Lady"?
Gotta go. No, I mean, like, I DO.
wah! -- too funny Phyllis Jean -- as for old, to you, it can't happen -- and just what,is an AARP anyway? -- may love and peace be your companions on the road to joy -- JMW
LOL! That is one of the most amusing writes I've read year. Great going girl. May the bird of paradise (not) fly up your nose side ways this year. ps. Don't know if perhaps this is only a Canadian wish! not unlike the flees of a dozen camels. I'd better stop. Enjoyed it muchly.
J'nia
Phyllis! Phyllis! Oh my-y-y! What poetic musing! A hand filled with comic relief and pure unadultrated truth! "This is one broad who is creating her own catalog." That is so very funny to me! I am on the floor hurting my side over this!
My friend, this is deliciously funny. You should take this poem on the road, well, at least to your neighborhood Friday night poetry slam cafe. They would too be falling out of their chairs, crying: "Encore! Encore!" This poem is certainly good for whatever ails us.
Phyllis, it all boils down to how we see it right: it's only a number not a sentence. We can choose to carry on half-full or half-empty; afterall, didn't the great philosphers say just as wine gets better with ---, so do we. Love your comedic poetry.
My good Phyllis you have me rolling over in laughter at your humor. Never mind the numbers, just smile and enjoy your birthday, you know you deserve a good time, right? Oh please! Forget the stupid numbers and enjoy life....
Now Phyllis we are only as old as we choose to be and I am never getting old. I have always liked my dresses to the floor and full briefs please. A bra that holds my girls where they're meant to be and not to the floor, lol, I guess if there is Viagra then there best be a vibrator to go with it. lol. you got me in stitches. Hope you have a wonderful birthday.
Just a spring, well quite late spring, chicken are you...saw this magazine called "Senior Bathing Beauties" & opened it to discover they were pictures seniors in college...keep on kickin' young lady...Ed (I am in my mid 50s and Rufuz is like 63 in doggy years)
Oh happy birthday dear one...You are beautiful and young, your writes tell me so. Love and hugs and I hope its the best birthday ever. Love and hugs, Bonnie
Fractured Frazzled Folk Fables and Fairy Farces is adult literature that satirizes famous children's stories, fables and fairy tales. The work is Jay Dubya's twenty-first e-book available in Amazon Kindle and Barnes and Noble Nook.
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And you know what? You keep the rest of us from getting too old.
-gene.
Fee
peace and love, Carole~
J'nia
Christine
My friend, this is deliciously funny. You should take this poem on the road, well, at least to your neighborhood Friday night poetry slam cafe. They would too be falling out of their chairs, crying: "Encore! Encore!" This poem is certainly good for whatever ails us.
Phyllis, it all boils down to how we see it right: it's only a number not a sentence. We can choose to carry on half-full or half-empty; afterall, didn't the great philosphers say just as wine gets better with ---, so do we. Love your comedic poetry.
Be always safe,
Karen
Regis
Newfie Hugs, Rose
(((HUGS))) and love, Karla.
(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in Tx., Karen Lynn. :D X0X0X0X0
Cute write!