The Unloved

My thoughts are angry with me
threatening to devastate my health like earthquakes.
Their uncontrollable storm keeps my dreams shattered
and my silence sleepless.

My body has been emaciated to the highest degree.
With difficulty in breathing, profuse tears, a bleeding heart
and with aches and pains, I live.
I can hardly see or hear, bear with me please.

I closed my eyes and concentrated on having no thoughts,
surely, I'd have been mad if I ignored to do so.
But at the instant I slept off, I woke again.
That little moment had sent me through a nightmare.

My unhappiness has made me ill,
causing my heart to grieve at my damaged blood vessels.
I'm living as if I'm dying,
hoping on hope that I know will never come.

I'm languishing for a lifetime.
My trembling body is always in distress,
without love and care.
My eyes are weary with lack of sleep and rest.

Is it good to live when it's better to be dead?
I'm sick to death of living.
I'm sick at heart to know I'm still breathing.
Hopelessness, helplessness, and loneliness are the order of my day.

Heartsick and heartbreak are written all over my face.
When you stared into my eyes,
did you see what lies within it?
Did you also notice what lives in it?

If there's something that I did without knowing,
it is the prayers that my bones recited,
with tears as "Amen",
I prayed not played.

I cried and wept before my comforters,
but they sent sadness and torments upon my poor soul.
I hardly can speak,
for the words have been squeezed out of my head.

My brains have no energy and light.
I can only manage to sleep in a coma.
I've been forsaken, rejected, and neglected.
I have nothing and despair as neighbours.

I tried to love God and you,
but because of you I fall in love with sorrow.
Why have you turned soulless and soul-destroying?
Why have your compassion denied me of your friendship?

Is it because that I trusted you,
that you gave me a noxious and toxic wine to drink?
Oh, you've poisoned my understanding and senses;
you've succeeded in ripping off my heart.

Remembering that I've not yet given up the ghost
strikes terror into my heart,
that thought alone makes me human,
but nobody showed they cared.

Burn me with your love.
I'm freezing like a block of ice.
I'm hungry, thirsty, and homeless.
I need your love!