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Author Darkstar

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Member Since: Sep, 2008

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Not So Different
by Author Darkstar → (All Poetry by Author Darkstar)
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written after surviving a difficult time in my life

I'd seen him unravel before.
A different space and time
Hearing conspiratorial voices from a ship out at sea…everyone we met became another part of the plot
His car teetering on the ledge behind a convenience store…him still inside, the driver's door ajar, completely oblivious to imminent danger
Fighting riffraff in a parking lot, demanding the return of she who silently watched in panic, from an open window, longing to call to him
Hidden love notes, from the treacherous seductress, inside his wife's wedding picture frame
A brief respite, and missing, for three 'missing' days
Telling the terror-stricken little girls to go get "The Gun"…the one they were forbidden to touch
Dropping change all over the ground, unable to get it into the pay phone…Who could you be calling? The Autotrain is leaving without us!
Banging the kitchen table with his massive, square fist, insisting with gritted teeth on undeserved respect
Silently demanding the attention of all who loved him
Finally, honest surrender to his powerlessness

Never thought, I'd see him work loose, again…
The past amended by space and time
Unexpected extreme neck pain, nausea, loss of balance and refusal to admit weakness…"not my Dad!" she wails in disbelief.
Humbly thanking the family for coming, in spite of their "busy schedules"…what else would they do?
Littlest Daddy's girl comes slowly unglued, painfully snipping his thick, horrid toenails 'til they bleed.
Unable to speak or stand, but aimlessly grinned his beautiful smile toward "get well" balloons
A pat from the giant hand…reassurance she's special
Begging to have a machine turned off that never existed…please tell his wife
Pretending to recognize her with a child's mischievous twinkle in his blue eyes 
Youngest son, unable to remember before, can't talk about it—his heroic dad wears a diaper
Gaunt, frail, extremely thin, legs stiffened in a fetal position… dressed in running gear
The machine violently puffs in and out…somebody please, please stop this torture. 
"Don't you know who this is? This man deserves respect!"
"Time" by Pink Floyd booms timely on the radio…older brother, always a child, says, "My Daddy's dead."
Silently demanding the attention of all who loved him 
Finally, ultimate surrender to his powerlessness
 


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