Yeah, c’mon all of you seasoned ranch hands, cowboys, policemen, Pawnee scouts, east-coast polo players, Ivy League athletes, and librarians, Assistant Secretary of the Navy Teddy Roosevelt needs a helping hand, down on a hill near San Juan So put down your dairies and pick-up a bayonet and gun We’re gonna have a whole lot of fun. And it’s one, two, three, what’re we fighting for? Don’t ask me, I was mustered into the Rough Riders The next stop is someplace called Santiago, Cuba And it’s five, six, seven, open the gang plank of the Yucatan Well, there ain’t no time to reason why Whoopee! 76% of us are gonna die. Well, c’mon generals and Colonel Roosevelt Let’s move fast – your big chance has come at last We’ve gotta go out and get those Spaniards The only good Spanish-speaking one, is one that’s dead And you know that peace can only be won When all of the enemy have been blown to Kingdom come. Well, c’mon United States of America Don’t be slow, why this is war, so let’s go, let’s go There are plenty of futures to be made By supplin’ America with the tools of the political trade Just hope and pray that polling place volunteers and union bosses won’t be bought and paid. So c’mon mothers throughout this great land Pack your sons off to fight Uncle Sam’s War (don’t bite the hand) And c’mon you lazy bum fathers, don’t procrastinate Send them off before they’re ready to shave Be the first one on your block to brag they’ve gone to fight with Teddy. ‘2007’ RLS