Does anyone ever read these things I ponder? Does anyone ever write the truth in these blogs? Do they use them for journals or diaries? Does it really matter? You can read and read and never really know.

         I think, what if I really bare my soul here? Would anyone care? Would anyone feel my pain as much as I do? Would my writing of my pain help anyone that was on the brink of  a decision, help them make it? Would writing about it help me make a decision?

       I think that If  I wrote of what I was really thinking and If any one really read these, they would think that I was the one that needed the help. Not someone trying to help others.

      Maybe these are letters to ourselves. Letters to remind us of what must be done or what me must do to better our lives in this world.

     Or they just might be notes to ourselves to keep us on a given path. A path that only we can lead without help from anyone.

     Maybe it's our destiny to write and hope someone reads what we write. Poets are painters with words. Painters are poets with paints. Music is what music writers use to paint the pictures of their hearts and  minds.

    If only I could bring back the pictures of my mind and write, paint or play music with the words, I long to grasp again. Words that seem to have left me empty inside. I hope to feel love, joy, caring and laughter again. Not just pain!

Be it physical or mental pain only God knows for sure.