I thought this was going to be a wonderful year. Instead, many people on the spiritual path are facing challenges that they must work through. It may be a great year once we have worked through these processes...but at the moment, it's like trying to walk through deep, thick mud. I t has been a tough year so far.
I thought 2007 was going to be a great year, but so far it has been hard going. Transition after transition. Inner battle followed by inner battle. To the point where I no longer knew who I was, nor felt that I was making any progress. It was like trying to walk through deep, thick mud.
I reached a point of feel emotionally hammered, and knew that I had to take a good look at myself and my life and ask: what is wrong?
And do you know what I found?
I found a person who was hiding behind the masks that she thought society expected her to wear. I had, prior to this, not realized I was wearing a mask at all, I thought I was just being me, but slowly it became apparent that depending on who I am with I behave in a different way I act like a different person.
Why do I do that? I can think of only one reason: the desire to fit in, to be accepted. However, I have realized that it comes at a price, the price of me being honest with myself. I should be proud of who I am, proud of my journey, proud of who I am becoming.
And this realization came with a new commitment, a personal one to myself. It is time for me to stand up and to be who I am, to be my reality.
If I cannot be completely myself with another person then that means that I feel their is something wrong with me, that there is something I feel I need to hide. Is my desire to fit in and be accepted more important to me that who I am? Do I accept other people for who they are? Would it be so terrible for me to expect people to accept who I am?
The realization that I was wearing a mask made me ask these questions, and answer them truthfully. I honestly do not feel I have anything to hide. I am comfortable with who I am, and the only issue has ever been 'will other people be comfortable with who I am?' It is not a terrible thing to say 'here I am, this is me, can you accept me as I am?' And so, this is what I have now chosen to do in every part of my life, with everyone I meet: I will be my glorious self, I will not wear a mask, I will not pretend to be anyone other than who I am, and if another person cannot accept me for that, then that it okay.
I will live true to myself, because if I cannot do that for myself then how can I ever expect anyone else to accept me for who I am.
That might sound like an easy thing to do, but the easy thing is pretending to be the person who fits in, the difficult thing is showing the world who you truly are, and what you embrace.
What are my goals in life? Who am I? I am love, I am a writer and a teacher, and what I seek is full enlightenment and ascension. Big goals? Yes...but they are truthfully what I seek. How can I teach something I do not know, how can I guide anyone if I have not walked the journey myself?
It is time, and I stand before the world, revealing myself fully:
I am Robyn.
I adore my family.
I am a writer, a teacher and a spiritual counselor.
I am walking the path of enlightenment and ascension.
