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David A. Schwinghammer

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Books
· Soldier's Gap

· Soldier's Gap

· Soldier's Gap

· Soldier's Gap


Short Stories
· Mengele's Double, Chapter 12

· Fisher of Men, Chapter 11

· Mengele's Double, Chapter 11

· Honest Thief, Tender Murderer, Chapter 11.

· Mengele's Double, Chapter 10

· Honest Thief, Tender Murderer, Chapter 10

· Fisher of Men, Chapter 10

· Mengele's Double, Chapter 9

· Seminary Boy, a memoir

· Fisher of Men, Chapter Nine


Articles
· The Jerk

· Bone-headed Supreme Court Decisions

· Republicans Work Hard at Creating Divisive Issues

· Pipestone: My Life in an Indian Boarding School, book review

· Auschwitz (Always Remember Your Name), book review

· Fahrenheit 2021-22

· Biden's Approval Rate Plummeting

· Mr. Trump, have you no sense of decency?

· Critical Race Theory

· Clueless Judge Compares AR-15's to Swiss Army Knives


Poetry
· Should I Take Ballet?

· Caboose

· The Girl Next Door

· Llama, Llama (dedicated to William Blake)

· The Terminal Booger

· Fashion

· Widow's Peak

· Myth

· Alumni Game

· Stradivarius

         More poetry...

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Blogs by David A. Schwinghammer

Would you want a right-winger for a neighbor?
1/7/2011 10:56:14 AM


Would you put up with this stuff if these guys
lived next door?


Would you want a Right-winger for a Neighbor?

My neighbor won’t tie up his dogs. When I go outside, the big one takes a run at me, scaring the crap out of me. Neighbor has a security fence but it doesn’t work. Lately the mutts been using my snow banks as a commode. I’ve talked to him a couple of times about both problems, but the dog took another run at me the other day, so it looks like a hopeless situation. I’d call the cops but I don’t want to be one of THOSE guys.

How would you like to have a neighbor like that? If not, why do we put up with political figures and demonstrators who act even more boorishly? Here are some examples which may seem vaguely familiar.

1. Neighbor has a gun rack in his truck. It’s not supposed to be loaded but it is. He says he doesn’t want to be caught in a Virginia Tech situation without protection. During odd moments during the day you hear explosions over there that sound a lot like gunshots. Does he have a shooting range in his basement? Thinks college kids should be armed, just in case. You ask if he’s met a college student lately. Here’s an interesting factoid. 80% of the assault weapons used in the Mexican drug war come from the United States. Drug warlords use American “straw men” to buy them. Meanwhile, neighbor and his friends resist background checks at gun shows, which is where the Virginia Tech assassin got his weapons.

2. Antisocial behavior: Neighbor went on one of those charter buses with Michelle Bachmann to protest the new Health Care law, where he spit on a black congressmen. We’re suspicious he’s the one sent the used condom to democratic Congressmen Betty McCollum.

3. Racism. Neighbor still thinks Shirley Sherrod is a racist. When told a Georgia cracker murdered her father, he said, “He probably started it.”

4. Religion: Neighbor gives me a dirty look every time he sees me cutting my grass on Sunday. His vacation destination last year was the Creationism Museum where exhibits show dinosaurs co-existing with cavemen. When asked about the Grand Canyon, he insists that happened during the Flood in the Bible.

5. Education: Neighbor thinks an eighth grade education is enough for anyone. The rest of it is glorified babysitting. Why would you pay a teacher $60,000 a year, with three months off for the summer, for something you could get for minimum wage?

6. Immigrants. Neighbor hates anybody who isn’t White Anglo-Saxon Protestant. Insists Somalians came over here to get on welfare. Thinks all Hispanics are wetbacks and should be profiled whether they’re citizens or not.

7. Science: Thinks scientists are gay, a double-whammy. When shown the transcript for Scopes III in which a scientist testified about “missing links” which confirm evolution, he insisted those bones were faked just like the moon landing.

8. Homophobia: Believes homosexuality can be cured. Cites Ted Haggard as an example. Haggart was the phony preacher who was having a homosexual relationship on the side. When told that from five to fifteen percent of Americans are homosexual and that the Constitution guarantees that “All men are created equal,” he says the Bible takes precedent over the Constitution.

9. Name-calling: Obama is a “socialist” for trying to shove Obamacare down our throats. Neighbor is on Medicare and Social Security with a VA pension to boot, but that’s not the same thing. Teabaggers portray Obama as Hitler and as an African tribesman. They insist he wasn’t born in Hawaii, despite the birth certificate that he furnished before running for office and the birth announcement in a Hawaiian newspaper. Meanwhile conservative neighbors pull a Hitler in Texas, rewriting history to fit their agenda, and Limbaugh calls Jimmy Carter a “hemorrhoid” for insisting the Tea Partiers were racist.

10. Just say ‘No.’ Neighbor won’t play golf unless we play by his rules.
The Patriot Act, where the government spies on its own citizens, is okay, but God help us if the government passes single payer health care.


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