I have suffered from major endogenous depression my entire life, have been treated for it for forty years, and am currently experiencing a severe crisis.
Into the Night
I felt a chill and looked within today To find that my heart has been gnawed away
Though I had felt a growing emptiness And bit by bit an increasing distress As if I were losing myself somehow I find that I have been hollowed-out now
A hole in my soul and nothing I say None of those clever things I used to do Can make it any better anymore Since from this open sore my life leaks too
As if someone forgot to close the door Let in a chill wind which blew out the light
I cannot say that I know where you have been, my friend. I can tell you that I've been so low in darkness that I could scarcely take another breath. Thank you for sharing this stark, honest, and real part of you. Love and peace to you, Stevie,
Regis
Reviewed by Tinka Boukes
Reviewed on August 9, 2006
Warm hugs.....to some point I can share your emotions deep...I am sure I suffer from depression myself...but too scared to know the answer!!
'hollowed-out' and 'what I was slipped out into the night' is powerful and really shows us the deep, out of control feeling that goes with the struggle of self vs. self.
this is very haunting. And a perfect description of a deep depression. So many people don't have a clue as to the true hell that it is. I hope that many are enlightened by your words. I'm praying for you as you heal.
I will say from my own experience ... that any artist, or writer, or sculpter, or anyone who makes manifest the invisible into the tangible, goes through times of soul darkness. it's part of the territory of being creative.
Creativity comes from the spirit, and quite frankly the spirit realm is in chaos right now.
Desert experiences, I believe, are a balancing mechanism to offset what is left unfullfilled in ones life. I used to look at myself in the mirror, not with disdain or disgust, but with curiosity, and ask myself what is it that I want that I don't have yet. And what is it about myself that keeps me from getting it.
I feel for you here Steven. I have been in these lands of soul darkness several times.
Richard Lloyd Cederberg
Reviewed by Ronnee Workman (Reader)
Reviewed on August 8, 2006
A very haunting, profoundly introspective and heart and soul
wrenching scenario of this kind of unrelenting condition and
state of mind, body and very soul. That this writer can delve
into it as incapacitating and tormenting as it is; evidences
remarkable courage and resolve; and thank God he has that still
intact within him. A stunning and piercing peek into a malaise
that few understand; and those afflicted battle with ad infnitum.
One cannot read this, and not be deeply moved, and enlightened.
Fantastic writing here Stevie.
Re-Release! No longer back-listed. Return to the Olde Ways. The hustle and bustle of modern day life has brought many of us to a quick fix attitude.This book is for those of you who are fed up; have looked at your life and your loved ones and realize
Re-Release! No longer back-listed. Return to the Olde Ways. The hustle and bustle of modern day life has brought many of us to a quick fix attitude.This book is for those of you who are fed up; have looked at your life and your loved ones and realize
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Regis
Keep the faith dear one!!
With the love of GOD nothing is impossible!!
Yopu have a mighty powerful pen!!
Love Tinka
Susan
Creativity comes from the spirit, and quite frankly the spirit realm is in chaos right now.
Desert experiences, I believe, are a balancing mechanism to offset what is left unfullfilled in ones life. I used to look at myself in the mirror, not with disdain or disgust, but with curiosity, and ask myself what is it that I want that I don't have yet. And what is it about myself that keeps me from getting it.
I feel for you here Steven. I have been in these lands of soul darkness several times.
Richard Lloyd Cederberg
wrenching scenario of this kind of unrelenting condition and
state of mind, body and very soul. That this writer can delve
into it as incapacitating and tormenting as it is; evidences
remarkable courage and resolve; and thank God he has that still
intact within him. A stunning and piercing peek into a malaise
that few understand; and those afflicted battle with ad infnitum.
One cannot read this, and not be deeply moved, and enlightened.
Fantastic writing here Stevie.