"As I have loved so would I love again"

Lonely Street

In the beginning it was bemusing
To be disarrayed by humanity
So new and overwhelming as it was
For one knowing nothing of anything
To be riding the rails of puberty
Learning the rules of a dangerous game
In time to come to become confusing

Thinking too much about why and because
Which led then to a time of refusing
To let myself feel what I knew was real
To admit how beautiful it could be
Acting as though my heart were made of steel
When it was made of flowers blood and flame
Convincing no one of the lie at all
My need worn manifestly as my name
With red autumn leaves beginning to fall

Now I admit how much it means to me
To share an umbrella under the rain
Since not of steel I hurt and bleed and feel
I always knew but now I say it plain
My eyes are open now and I can see
What open eyes being honest reveal
As I have loved so would I love again

Was what I heard an answer when I cried
Or just an echo of a troubled mind
Acting out some internal dialogue
Explaining itself to be justified?
Who is it who speaks to me in the night
A whispered suggestion from far away
Convicting me before I have been tried
And telling me I must go free today
Is someone there or is my mind not right?

The hunter by agreement with his dog
Decided to leave the question behind
But I wait for its answer every day
Believing stubbornly hoping to find
Among this world of words something to say
Which might mean something to someone somehow
I wonder if anyone understands

If you understand would you tell me now
Out here as we hold our hearts in our hands?
Where we stand awkward looking at our feet
Where I wonder if we suffer in vain
Beyond what now seems merely amusing
We seem so lonely and in so much pain
Together here alone on Lonely Street
But insofar as the pain will allow
As I have loved so would I love again

+Steven Curtis Lance



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