To Fall Like a Star I am brittle now and my teeth get sore Ghosts trouble me and haunt my reflection My nerves know pains from mental to dental Imperfect as I pursue perfection I never feel like eating anymore Never feel the fun in fundamental And my clothes are not right for the weather Struggling along against the infection My body is not right my mind is wrong Suffering something like sacramental Ups and downs looking not finding it yet Both feel as though feeling the rejection Of self by myself my body my mind Contending and tending toward ending their Uneasy partnership of convenience I keep trying to keep us together Though I understand in a higher sense Someday I must leave imperfect behind Had I known that pain could feel so intense I never would have lingered here so long Seeing how being now can hurt and yet I look up into the face of the moon And keep hoping things will get better soon It turns out to be exhausting to get That moment in the sun I waited for What I thought I wanted somehow and yet Fast as I run it precedes me the more But I am privileged to be and see This pursuit of perfection at close range Through which I have stubbornly stayed this me Which you might have heard of subject to change I cannot help but pursue perfection As an idea if not a statistic Whether madness or divine election I am and do but am realistic Pursuing the pattern of a star in A state of fallenness never known to The me I was when I came to begin Being becoming as I am and do I am brittle now and my teeth get sore And yet I am curious to see it I never feel like eating anymore And yet I am furious to be it I want to be somebody finally A happy ending having come this far Steadily if slowly but certainly To rise if only to fall like a star +Steven Curtis Lance Copyright MMX