for Patricia Lance I My mother remembered anniversaries Birthdays baptisms those things like these I thought were stupid as a kid but miss now Since the days became the same somehow She is gone and I went on and away I never remember that much anyway But remember her birthday very Much every twenty-fourth of January And all those people she sent cards to Remembered forever like I did too II I wish I had been there Had known before been more aware What was going on With me and those around me when Everything went wrong then Everything was gone I was there but not where I had always thought I would be Then I was nowhere But out of nowhere what you see Within my poetry Is what is of me I think now I know more Than whoever I was before It all happened so Fast a score of slow years ago When two-score but now three This is me I know Not for this me not to be Here to be again III Pontius Pilate was not a good guy They say but they say he said something I Have said that what he had written he had The way I do what I have written too And asking what is truth is not so bad Though Pontius Pilate was not so good They say but they may have misunderstood Quod scripsi scripsi the way they quote who Asked quid est veritas the way I do IV I wonder is it better late than never when What would have been good to know whenever then Is known when some folly is shown finally to Be as it has been to me finally who Gets it after all though the hard way in freefall But I am glad I got it after all I understand perhaps in this Case my ignorance would not be bliss And so I got wise enough to realize Anyway how I can say it is better now Than never whenever still better somehow And if I ever get another chance will know I get not to forget I had to let go What I thought I knew to know what was true And what was true is only this Ignorance is lonely and not bliss V Everyone wants to be happy like I do And when I make someone happy as who Wants to be happy too then in the living It makes me happy too in the giving You pass it along and happiness goes on And on around the world and is not gone When I need it again it is ready then From me to you from you to me again Giving not taking this happiness-making Making me happy and happy to share My happiness knowing that yours will be there And this is what keeps our hearts from breaking Steven Curtis Lance