The Two Sides

I wish I had one side

To my behaviour.

If I could pick

I'd probably choose manic...

But, oh! Then the money

Woes

And the habit of travelling far from home

Seeking love from people I've never met

Plus harsh words for those who don't

Deserve them.

But "The Black Dog" is

Also poor company.

Memories of mistakes that

Drove Love away

And nearly snuffed out

My physical presence here.

Remembrances that leave behind

Nights of bitter, helpless tears.

Don't think that I am

Totally defenceless... I do

Have help from my family,

My few friends

And those professionals

(Some who I adore)

Who are nearby or

Just a phone call away.

I don't know if the books will

Do it...

Or the love from some one

Not yet viewed...

Perhaps there will come a time

When I feel balanced,

Happy and renewed.