I saw your daughter, the other day,
at the Motel’s bar. She looked good, happy,
I asked about you, she said you are
doing well, therapy, meds., restructuring...
Suddenly, I feel like crying. I feel failure,
as a human being, a wife, a mother.

Maybe it’s the wine, and the music,
or realizations life will be changed.
Dynamics are shifting and creating
new awareness’ of self, of same.
In the end, or in endings, growth is key.
I feel drained, closer to extinction every day.

I blew a speaker, a couple of days ago,
my companion, by my computer. Only one left, now,
there used to be six. The two outside
went several years past, the kitchen made do
with one for the last couple of years, until,
only the two in the living/dining room were usable.

Maybe it’s a sign, delivered by music.
One speaker doing sixfold duty, proud,
yet, guilty to be the last functioning source
of my dysfunctional salvation, my ‘grip’
when I feel like letting go – found in music,
that rocks thoughts out of my head.

I saw some your family, today, in the
alternate city, leaving the restaurant
my kids and I went to eat lunch at after shopping.
They saw me, but no one came over to say hello,
or tell me anything about your healing.
Maybe, it’s just as well, my friend…

Erin Elizabeth Kelly-Moen
© Copyright 2/21/05