You left with.. my heart in your fist.. you squeezed and you squeezed until my blood exploded on the floor.. Your bloodied foot prints out the door.. But it doesn't matter.. I won't be needing that heart anymore.. Keep it as a trophy.. Put it high up on your shelf.. Consider it your Emmy.. You earned it .. all to well.. You were the actor to beat any I have ever seen.. You fooled me into loving you.. hiding your true being. I knew you could be cruel.. You liked to cultivate your victims. But I talked myself into believing.. I was not one of them... I made myself believe I was somehow too special.. to ever end up on your little shelf.. Well, shame on me .. and shame on you.. You took the last trust from the heart of your own little girl.. You took my one and only dream I had left in this world.. You twisted it you bent it.. You made it ugly .. You made me scream.. The pain so intense.. I wished I would die You were my father.. Why? Daddy why? How could you be so blind.. Not see The love that we had was special to me.... I gave you all I had to give.. When I knew you had a short time left to live My last chance at a family.. So I gave you my heart.. to do as you please.. Trusting you would never hurt that little girl inside of me.. Praying I had finally found.. my father My family.. Until I felt that final squeeze.. Just before you passed.. your last tribute to me.. To take my heart with you.. I hope that you are pleased.. You have left me here bleeding.. on the floor on my knees... Looking at your bloody footprints.. from my heart you left upon my floor.. Still wishing.. I had one more chance.. to see you just once more.. You did not honor not one simple wish.. A few ashes from your body.. So I could make a stone.. A place that I could go to be with you alone.. You will not see a tear fall from these eyes.. I have nothing left.. You took it when you died.. So since you left without a thought to me.... I say to you Good bye.. May God welcome you and keep you close to his side.. Know that I still love you.. and think of you each day... Hoping and praying.. you are happy in heaven always.. Perhaps one day when it is cloudy.. when God sends the rain.. I will look into the heavens.. and find my heart again.
Erica my sweet, this is the most gripping poem, stark, gritty and all to real. Well done on a sad subject that I know all too well. Sending you (((Erica)))'s and lots of them.
Books 1 & 2 of Never Leave Your Monastery, both in one volume. This Collector's Edition features the ORIGINAL ART of the Author, over 25 hand-drawn illustrations.
Although available elsewhere; the author urges you
Love Tinka
Reindeer
Love, Janet xoxoxo