My prison.. my anger.. my home..my salvation..my home..my ECA..REPOST

There is a metod to my maddness..

For as long as I can remember.. I have been a stubborn willful girl.. God knows it has caused me many problems in this messed up world. I trusted no one.. I rarely said a word.. but when I did.. most of what I said was not heard.. Court ordered into this institution.. Because of a life of abuse.. That I did not afflict.. But it didn't matter I was just the kid.. "Protective order" is what the judge called it.. Translation.. Imprisonment.. Lets call it what is! Bull shit I spat at the shocked judge.. I did NOTHING wrong.. Why am I to be locked away.. Like some criminal.. Why must I pay? While she gets away scott free.. this system sucks.. it is insanity. With down cast eyes.. The judge did agree. but said his hands were tied.. it was the best for me.. and the law was the law. had to be followed to the tee. Well, your laws stinks.. and so do you.. for not standing up.. and doing the right thing to do.. I now belonged to the state.. just another road to nowhere.. Just a piece of bait.. Now my childhood was lock up.. With felons prostitutes paranoia pyromaniacs sociopaths Girl you better watch your back.. And a few like me.. ordinary child abuse.. We had code blues.. ICU's Academy vans to catch you if you ran Pimps coming from the Twin Cities to pick up their whores Baring guns.. not afraid to use it on.. anyone. That first year I had my share of fights.. Showing everyone I could be just a tough. Proving myself was a must.. I went through counselor after counselor. dozens I believe. All calling me incorrigible unbreakable.. a lost cause.. too far gone.. Stupid silly people.. They just could never understand.. there are no lost causes.. only lost children.. But this they could never comprehend.. I never talked with them.. Simply because I had nothing to say.. Not to some damn paid employee. who got a check to care about me for a day.. Get over it!! What do I look like a charity case.. If you can't be real.. Don't ask how I feel.. Get out of my face!! Let me be on my way out.. I can handle this on my own.. Who asked for your help anyway. I was punished.. put on restrictions.. Locked on ICU for days.. All because I wouldn't talk.. To these people.. Fall for power plays.. Hey, that is what is was.. So then they drugged me with elivil.. thorizine and more.. They thought that would make me open up.. But it just double locked that door.. yes, they may have won The battle.. But truth is I won the war.. I waited ever so patiently for the person I could relate to.. Eventually they found the right person.. And not a moment too soon.. I was going down hill fast.. Drugged .. Locked forever in my room. Finally I had someone Who didn't bully her way in.. She waited ever so patiently Until we became good friends.. That woman's name was Dorothy.. An angel sent for me. She was the only one who could ever help.. The one who saved me From myself. For so long I was utterly alone Until the years in this place.. turned it into my home. ERICA