When I first entered your room
And knelt beside your bed
Not a word was spoken
And I couldn’t hear what you said
You smiled for me
A poor cover for your pain
If I’d known your suffering
I would have done something then
I sat beside you
And laughed a while
Unaware of how much I missed
Your smile
And then I saw the gun
That would be the very end
Not a joke or a trick
Not make believe or pretend
At first I smirked
What the hell is that?
But you weren’t laughing
You weren’t even where we sat
You held it at your side
I cried, I begged
You just silently watched the tears
I bled
Oh God, don’t take your life
From far away I called
Please, God take mine instead
I saw your heart fall
I lunged for the gun
A last, desparate attempt
Before I was to see
Your troubled soul’s ascent
We fell together on the bed
Unaware, like lovers
A feeling of feelings, though brief,
Unlike any other
My mouth broke
I didn’t know what to speak
You gazed at the ceiling
Your grip on the gun was weak
I stared at the pillow
For the longest time
And then I turned my head
You took from me what was mine
I held your hand
You held the gun
We held together
An act undone
The tears raged on
In silent outcry
I began to rise
And failed to try
I lay against your chest
Hearing your heart
It slowly submitted
To the Death art
Your mind was gone
Even as your body relented
You chest no longer rose
The will to live was tinted
Your blood stained mine
I wept for you
As the last breath faded
I turned to you
Face to face
You stared at me
With deep, blue eyes
That would never see
And even then
I could not say
What question you needed
Answered that way
You really didn’t know
Your own whys
Perhaps you couldn’t
Say goodbye
Your heartbeat slowed
And stopped to rest
My teardrops stained
Your blood-stained chest
I took the gun
And your hand, too
And prayed for love
I felt for you
If I would serve
My death in Hell
I’d gladly give
You back as well
You didn’t want
My life for yours
I sit and question
Why for hours
I never rose from your body’s death
And later I was told
They carried me away
From the only love I’d ever hold
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