Yew are just TOO kind! Such a wonderful Re-Union with "MAKE UP!" Remember the old skit where people got smacked in the face with a huge Powder Puff? I look forward to such a Family gathering, but not because I am Brave!
"I've Got a Secret" ... say the Secret Word and Split a $100 ...
It is 'CLONE' !!!
As a lowly Cousin, I anticipated some possible, and probable, Dastardly Deed might be conspired by Two ED Brothers ... so I created a CLONE of myself! After perfecting him, belly and all - I made a couple of 'improvements' for his Safety.
First, I installed a Secret Button, located in a very 'private' place. Whenever he chooses to activate this function, All Olfactory Senses are De-Activated ... Ergo, he will have No Sense of SMELL! So, ole 'Poops-A-Lot' - 'Farts-A-Lot' ED, the 'WUSS' can Not FOUL him with his malodorous STENCHES!
Secondly, another really special button has been installed in another unmentionable area of his wonderful BOD ... this button activates a special feature, which allows him to EAT and STORE all kinds of wondrous things, without harm to his internal organs!
To that end, and his 'other' END, the Rear One - 'Sir Cur II' has been on a special diet for two weeks now ... Hot Butter Beans - Broccolli - Hard-Boiled Eggs - Both Purple and Green Cabbage - and the 'Piece' d' Resistance' ... Maryland Chesapeake Bay Steamed Crabs!
He and I are anxiously awaiting the 'ticking' of the clock - Friday morning can not come too soon! He will leave promptly at 9:30 AM, and approximately at Noon will arrive at the Infamous ED's Trailer Park in downtown, Landisville, NJ.
A picture is provided in order for you to 'Get the Picture'!
Pee-Wee - thank you again, for this Wonderful Opportunity!
Yer Devoted Cuz ... "Sir Tom, The Cur-Reprobate' ...
aka 'Lord Bawlmer' The Oneth'!
*** MY COMMENTS ON MATLACK’S RECENT BRAGGADOCIOUS REMARKS!
DEAR KNAVE WUSS-A-LOT ...
ANOTHER 'RED HERRING' YOU DRAG ACROSS THE TRAIL ...
AN ATTEMPT TO CHANGE THE SUBJECT ...
QUITE UNDERSTANDABLE THO' ...
A 'PEA BRAIN' WITH 'VISIONS OF GRANDEUR' ...
IN THE FAMOUS WORDS OF JIMINY CRICKET ...
"IT AIN'T WHAT YOU GOT - IT'S HOW YOU USE IT!"
MY NEXT 'PIECE' WHICH YOU HAVE ALREADY READ,
NEEDED A SUITABLE PICTURE,
NOW I SHALL POST IT ...
P.S. LIKE MOST THINGS,
YEW GOT IT BASS-ACKWARDS!
I'M INFESTED W/ANTS ...
N' P-WEE HAS THE DOGS N' FLEAS!
P.S. MANY THINGS COME IN VARIOUS SIZES -
SMALL, MEDIUM, LARGE ...
THOSE WITH SMALL BRAINS TEND TO SPEND MORE TIME MEASURING THEIR BIG WEE-WEE'S !
THOSE WITH LARGER BRAINS TEND TO ACTUALLY 'USE' THEIR LIL ONES, QUITE VIVACIOUSLY!
I seemed to have interrupted a cock-fight here. Well I ain't got a wife and kids in Baltimore Jack, but I will come back with a hungry heart for more!
Reviewed by Patrick Granfors
Reviewed on May 26, 2011
As a distant cousin, out of respect I must say you have put on some weight, just the opposite of what, say, a prize fighter must doo doo in advance of the ultimate contest. I am saddened that you won't make the reunion here this year but I am pleased that my local sanitation bill will remain intact. Cuz Pat
Not even I can pinch a loaf that big, Cuz...Maybe your clone after eating all those wild foods...or you for that matter, what with all those crabs from the polluted Chesapeake...Jerseeeeeeeeeeey
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Two-Seaters are already out; Four-Seaters are in;
And I hear Cousin Pat, on an Eight-Seater begins!
Pee Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Chip Bergeron