Treason

The thought of you so permeates existence,
Of all I am or ever hope to be.
My heart encounters you with no resistance,
As if you've always been some part of me.

I search for answers for the way I feel.
Why should you wake in me so much desire?
Each night before I go to sleep I kneel
And seek some way to quench the restless fire.

I am consumed, for all your words and deeds
Once heard about do wonders to my heart,
A heart you own for every beat concedes
That who you are has played some special part.

In friendship's name I'm glad we keep in touch.
So precious are those times we write or call,
But there's a cross in loving you so much-
A primal wish that you could have it all.

Some people say there always is a reason
For why things happen just the way they do.
But this is a conspiracy of treason...
To love this much and be apart from you.

John H. Bidwell