On the Outside Looking In
By John Herlihy

I freely confess I am in the thick of it;
I have passed my entire life living the myth of it.
I have believed the stories the religions told;
I have pursued the promises the society has sold.
Dignity and respect have been values held most dear;
Even if it meant inflicting myself with the point of a spear.
Success and fame claimed surely as rightful ambitions;
This life, one life, my only life convenient superstitions.
I am well positioned on the inside, imperiously looking out;
Why, then, do I feel abandoned, simply wishing to shout?

I would like to be on the outside looking in,
Aware of my limitations and regretting every sin.
Free of the encumbrances of people’s expectations,
Wishing to open myself to the intimacy of closer relations,
Released from the burden of my own chronic incertitude,
Not fully knowing the true nature of my own plenitude,
To exceed my own expectations in setting life’s goals,
To float again on the open sea after crashing into life shoals.
I would like to be well-positioned on the outside, humbly looking in;
Ready to peel back the layers of my onion and get under my skin.

I freely confess I would like to do things I have never done before;
Open myself to experiences that will take me away from life’s safe shore.
Would that I could live in a house built of trees I myself have felled;
Sleep under the roof of Heaven where stars for eternity have dwelled.
Listen to nature with ears that have never heard church bells as they tolled;
Where arbitrary laws take away my initiative, making me feel less bold.
Let me taste waters of a spring and run barefoot across sands on a beach;
Let me abandon all thoughts and learn from the boll weevil and the leech.
Let me see into vast distances with the eyes of the eagle soaring by day;
Let me see with eyes of the owl by night whose vision peels the dark away.

I make no claims to be a knight; I have no power to make such distinction,
Just a migratory bird flying from outside in, not a dinosaur facing extinction.