Can I Be Like Him
By John Herlihy

When I was a toddler,
I wanted to be like my older brother.
He was big and brave and had wavy hair;
He turned my way with a smile to spare.
His tender affection on offer for me to sup;
My infant heart filled like a brimming cup.

I certainly didn’t want to be like myself,
Inward and shy, hesitant like a fickle elf.
I took one step forward and two backward,
So withdrawn I could hardly say a kind word.
I figured I just need to get big and grow up,
Give up the life of being just a neglected pup.

Eventually, I wanted to be like my best friend,
Brave and outspoken from beginning to end.
He could speak like an orator on multiple subjects;
He never hesitated a moment and had no regrets.
My friend certainly wasn’t the runt of the litter;
He always took the lead like an endearing critter.

At one point, I wanted to be like my lover;
When I was around her, I just wanted to hover.
To see her, to smell her, to whisper into her ear,
To nibble her earlobes and to lick a falling tear.
When she smiled sweetly at me, I simply fell apart,
Her smile filled my soul with my own melted heart.

I finally awakened to the Supreme God of the Universe,
Who created unlimited worlds, His Mercy to disperse.
Here I was, a little piece of earth mixed with water,
Searching for my own identity like an illegal squatter.
Lost to myself and abandoned by the world at hand,
Not knowing where to go or upon what to take a stand.

I finally ended up asking myself: Can I be like Him?
Is this a reasonable question to ask or just an idle whim?
When I close my eyes, I heard beautiful music in my mind;
When I close my ears, I hear utter silence of a mystical kind.
When I give up all my desires and surrender my heart to Him,
I feel an awakening come over me that releases all chagrin.

Now I know for a certainty that I want to be like Him,
A perfect being, tender and true , to stand nimbly on a pin.
To balance the extremes of my outer and inner worlds,
To smooth my imperfections into the perfection of pearls.
To be noble, to be pure, to be honest, discreet and sure,
To withstand any adversity and any tribulation endure.

Oh I await the day when I can consider myself like Him,
Full of grace, blessing and beatitude, nearly full to the brim.
He is the All Loving, the All Merciful, the Subtle, the Wise;
He is the perfection of what is, and hides behind no disguise.
He gives, He takes away, He fills me up, He takes me away,
Beyond the horizon, beyond the stars, into the Eternal Day.