This is a parody of a song sung by Burl Ives about an old lady who swallowed a spider. sorry I don't know the author of the original lyrics, but here is my twisted version.

The Spider

There once was a fellow who captured a spider.
He caged it and fed it and let it get wider.
He wanted to see how much bigger the spider
Would get to be before it would die.

This fellow fed crickets each day to his spider.
He hoped it would eat them and grow to get wider.
He wanted to see how much bigger the spider
Would get to be before it would die.

Now one day the spider was the size of a bird.
Ever heard of a spider the size of a bird ?
But this fellow fed crickets every day to his spider.
He hoped it would eat them and get to be wider.
He wanted to see how much bigger the spider
Would get to be before it would die.

Then one day the spider was the size of a cat.
Just think about a spider, the size of a cat.
Before that the spider was the size of a bird.
Ever heard of a spider the size of a bird?
But this fellow fed crickets every day to his spider.
He hoped it would eat them and get to be wider.
He wanted to see how much bigger the spider
Would get to be before it would die.

And one day the spider was the size of a dog.
I never saw a spider the size of a dog.
But one day the spider was the size of a cat.
Just think about a spider the size of a cat.
Before that the spider was the size of a bird.
Ever heard of a spider the size of a bird?
But this fellow fed crickets every day to his spider.
He hoped it would eat them and get to be wider.
He wanted to see how much bigger the spider
Would get to be before it would die.

Now one day the spider was the size of a cow.
I don’t know how it got to be big as a cow.
But one day the spider was the size of a dog.
I never saw a spider the size of a dog.
But one day the spider was the size of a cat.
Just think about a spider the size of a cat.
Before that the spider was the size of a bird.
Ever heard of a spider the size of a bird?
But this fellow fed crickets every day to his spider.
He hoped it would eat them and get to be wider.
He wanted to see how much bigger the spider
Would get to be before it would die.

Then one day the spider was as large as a horse.
It died of course.