It’s been these days all over the news, on what we can consume

If it’s sugar or high fat you choose, that’s taboo you can assume

We can’t eat eggs or too much meat, and rice and carbs are out

They say fruit rots your teeth, think twice, what’s that all about?

What’s that you cry, we can’t eat bread and pasta is a no-no

And anything substituted instead, that too will be a no-go.

While always being partial to fish, now you have to be so careful

For seafood is another dish for which you must be fearful

Now I am presently gluten-free, no wheat, no rye, no malt

It seems no foods are guilty-free, don’t get me started on salt

I could consider vegan, so no animal protein, only veg

The strictness of this even, makes me unkeen; puts me right on edge

Now we’re drinking skinny water; eating burnt toast isn’t smart

If we adhere to what we oughta, dairy’s at most bad for the heart

It’s quite ridiculous when looking at what is actually banned

Something quite innocuous, now is not, and must now be canned

And you can forget your fizzy drink since drinking soda is a crime

It can make you feel dizzy when thinking what you can’t have, all the time

Sometimes disapproval of tasty foods can often be distressing

And to go without your favourite puds can somewhat be depressing

They want you under strict rule, everything is ‘lite’ - dieting is for keeps

The ‘secret lemonade drinker’ still looks cool, at night, as down the stairs he creeps

Well I’ve had enough of it you hear, I won’t be curtailed in my own diet

Straddling my soapbox in protest here, refusing hitherto to remain quiet

And if they find my shrivelled corpse and can’t find a clear explanation

The autopsy in black and white reports, my demise was simply of sheer starvation