Still Standing

Giving love in hope of positive reaction, receiving contempt and dissatisfaction
I held my head under the sand, hoping to hide from fate?s cruel hand
The weight of the burden causing so much pain, I cried, ?God please ease my pain.?
I seemed to receive no answer to my prayer; I thought he too had opted not to be there.

I cried tears and through tantrums, I swore vengeance in personal anthems
I hoped against the obvious that things would change; he would, for whatever reason, choose to remain
I didn?t move, I stood still; watching what whispers and gestures might reveal
I ignored my intuition; continuing to operate in denial and indecision

It all came to a head one day, in rare hour of solace from the sun?s ray
I had been living in the dark, ducking and dodging the observable sparks
God had not abandoned me, but in his concern, required me to obtain the wisdom to discern
Blessed was the hour of my agonizing execution; for it was the doorway to my evolution

I am now wise enough to know; only from God shall my blessing flow
No matter what I?ve heard, recognize the lie when the action doesn?t match the word
Know and love thyself, only then can I perceive that worthy someone else
It is my past, present and perception that makes my actuality; it is completely in my power to determine my reality