JUST ONCE!

The “id” of Ed may have returned in force,

If you can recall the “id” that Ed had of course,

This is in writing you can understand, not in Morse,

So sit back and enjoy, if you will,

And listen to it right from the mouth of the horse,

Yes right from the source.

I have been feeling, of late; let us call it an attraction,

Have had it before, and will have it again, but for now it calls for dire action,

I need to keep discussing it with my “id”,

As it is not something that brings on what might be called a good reaction,

Tis’ something in fact, immoral and illegal, a place I cannot go,

This place does not bring on nor does it cause in anyway satisfaction.

Try as I might, I cannot understand just recently, the reason,

Fear, depression, anger, lust, missing someone could all be an excellent reason,

But I cannot find any or all of those feelings within my self, at least not leading to this,

I say to myself, just once, it won’t happen again, just let me feel the old feelings,

Let me experience the post fear, let me hear the sirens inside my head,

Feel the cuffs on my wrists in my dreams, just once,

These things and more, will alleviate any more anxiety, but will they?

In the past, one would lead to two, and two might lead to three,

Leading me in the end to a thought I don’t like to think, no longer being free,

But sometimes the urge is too strong,

Fortunately I just drive past and along,

But I see myself still looking; still lusting,

Still wishing I had less common sense,

Mostly in the spring, my head seems to go in this direction,

Less covering, more to be seen, and my brain does run like a train,

I am not sure, just how long I can fight off the strain!

Have I herein been too vague?

Any more knowledge with regards this problem,

And you may lose what little respect you have for me thus far,

If I could just realize this is just another attack of a disease, of sorts,

Kind of like malaria that comes and goes,

Or some other sort of yearly flu, or plague!

                             © ed – 5/19/04