Putrefied is my Mind (poem) by Ed Matlack on AuthorsDen

Putrefied is my Mind
by Ed Matlack → (All Poetry by Ed Matlack)
Rated "PG13" by the Author.

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What can you say, nothing, just as I say nothing...ramblings, rantings & ravings of a cancerous creature of the unending, unnerving postulant of time...
Putrefied is my Mind… I find myself unable to comment, On beautiful writes, wonderfully funny poems, powerfully etched in cement, My own worries, my own problems, seem so overbearing at this time, It makes it so hard to review someone’s poem so understandably new, I feel remiss in my duties, I want to say something, but I just can’t, so I relent… I am sorry dear friends of the Den, J. Allen, Ed K, Andy, Katy, Kate, Anna Marie, Erin, Eileen, Carol, and so many more, I feel that I just cannot face you all anymore, I want to tell you just how great it is what you write, But all I get is a blank screen, a white sheet of paper, My mind will not allow me to comment, my brain is fried, Been doing too much self-searching, too much have I cried… I want to be nice, but something inside wants me to be negative, I want to enjoy your slice, but I cannot be at all positive, Why do I feel this way, where did it come from, who will I attack next? Couldn’t sleep last night, hoped to sleep all night tonight, but… Still am I awake, my brain will not stop running in circles, I cannot even use meditation, I cannot use yoga, nothing works to calm, Even have I tried to get high, now you know I must be desperate? So little do I do this, J you know herein I do not lie, just stretch the truth a bit, Just come and take me, let me fly, away to heavens gate, or hells doorway, Is all I ask, I am being quite sincere, and honest and all that bull today… I herein am I guess just rambling on, the cancer in my body making me rant, I know that it is there I can just about pinpoint it, so it is scant, I am again sorry, I just have this feeling to scream and cry out, Nothing seems to make me feel better, no power in this universe, I cannot forsee any changes in my demeanor, in the near future, The past or the farther ahead I do look… Wish I was making some sort of sense, to me at the very least, This cancer it is a cunning sort of beast, Lay in wait, till I am old enough to be happy in life, Then pounce and attack my body and mind, Bringing with it the lesions of time, Past memories of sunning on the beach, No worries then of the suns poisoning me, cancer such a leach… © ed – 6/30/04

Reviewed by Tinka Boukes

Reviewed on July 1, 2004

I will just give you one huge Hug and say I understand Ed!!

Love Tinka

Reviewed by Katy Walsvik (Reader)

Reviewed on June 30, 2004

I couldn't put it any better than Ed K down there... EDDIE M: STOP IT! As long as you are here you have a life to live, people to roast, oceans to wade in, poems to write, toenails to clip, teeth to have cleaned, grass to mow, wool socks to wash, dog treats to buy, ok, ok: pills to take but who doesn't? I ask you! Men have survived this by the thousands, millions every year... I've known many myself. So has Ed. You must stop obsessing on this... get feisty! Just say NO to it.. do what the doc says and then just live your life! When you go to sleep, think of Rufuz, of Rene, of AD friends... and for god's sake, open some windows if you're still farting! (grin) Poor Rufuz.. Sigh.. no one will abandon you if you can't comment right now... we'll be here. See? Ok... now get to bed! katy xox.

Reviewed by Carol Chapman (Reader)

Sweet man, we are all with you on this battle, side by side standing to support you. Do not waste energy on trying to write reviews, I would rather you save it for what you are going through. You have my email address and I am here to listen, support, and care my friend.

Love
Carol

Reviewed by Thomas Lanechanger (Reader)

You know Ed, two years ago I had the same scare, and yet we must move forward!!!… I had it taken care of in the spring of 2002, yet I was and still am frighten out of my wits because I lost one of my older brothers from it, in 2000, and right now my 86 year old Father is winning the battle against it as we speak!!!… Ed, I know it’s hard but you must remain positive!!!… Never Surrender!!!… Take a stroll down the beach, and surround yourself with the beauty of the world, and those great memories that are twirling around it that big ole’ chrome dome of yours!!!… I want you and anyone else who reads this to know, I do consider you a friend, and most of the other great people here also!!!… You all have welcomed me, and I feel just as close to everyone here that is within shouting distance and beyond like my own family!!!… Yes we are going to have disagreements, don’t all families have them but we will march through all the silly nonsense, and help each other make it through good times and bad???!!! Got it???!!! Good!!! But I still ain’t kissing your ugly mug…lol!!! Peace thru togetherness my friend!!!

Reviewed by J. Allen Wilson

Ed, Oh Ed,...you know that line as well as I do...been there...done that. I know the feeling. I have been on a bit of a trip this week myself, but I never left town. All is well in our little world and all will be well in yours. Just keep the faith brother, and never let the sun set on your back...always look toward the light. Take care,
Allen

Reviewed by Mr. Ed

Ed, Ed, Ed! Here you go again. Your friends, and I repeat, friends, will not hold anything against you for not posting witty comments on our poems. If I was going through what you are right now, I wouldn't be posting witty comments either. So, that is the least of your worries.

But what's all the premature, giving up talk for. You just got diagnosed with a disease that millions of men have been diagnosed with, and a disease in which millions of men have been cured, and had remissions, and have gone on happily, for many, many more years, to eventually die of old age, or something else.

I picture you as more of a fighter, my friend, than this. And again, your friends are here for you, if you want to talk. you have my e-mail; OK?? Roger? Yes?