Bouncing Back & Forth…

I go from death to life and back again to death,

I find myself dragged into the light & back again,

Kicking and screaming and ranting and raving,

For caramel ice cream and nuts I find myself craving…

Am I truly crazy, insane or out of my skull raving mad?

Do I only feel this way when I am not up to snuff, just a bit sad?

What life I do lead, my pain is unbearable,

Others lead a harder ordeal, my life being repairable…

What can I do, what did I do, do I deserve this mental anguish?

I do become at times extremely languish,

For now I must accept that I cannot become whole,

Better to just run my self into a telephone pole…

Death does become me,

I wear it well with all the accoutrements,

My life does seem of late full of debris,

The craziness of my life just potpourri…

Maybe it is the drugs; maybe it is the lack thereof,

Perhaps my anti-depressants should be upped,

My other drugs lowered, don’t do I want to be corrupt,

Where did these feelings all come from, when did they erupt?

I cannot say as I am lost in my own mind and if I do my thought disrupt,

I may find myself dead or worse yet further alive most abrupt…

                        © ed ~ 12/4/04