When first I started to write,

It was to end depression,

And try as I might,

Said depression never left my sight.

I wanted to make a statement,

As to the human condition,

Or mine for that matter,

But since that time,

My writing style has changed.

I now write about myself,

Or I allow Rufuz to write about himself,

But the depression still lingers,

Even with drugs, I am still half myself.

I gotta admit, the drugs & writing,

Have helped me a great deal to put back in my step, some spring,

But still, depending on the time,

Of the day or year,

I still have this fear.

Or going back to the old me,

The one nobody can ever see,

Self-destructive, self-loathing.

That part of me found the sea,

To be, especially, medicinal,

Since the drugs, my love of the sea,

Has since waned to a small degree,

And now with Rene’ & Rufuz here,

I find I can truly enjoy some of life…

Don’t ask where this came from,

As I could not tell anymore than you,

Just a left over from discussions with the “id”,

Which I want to do more of, as I have ignored,

         The “id” of ed, of late…

                                                         (ed)