another yesterday

i no longer have to defend my choices

the choice now is to embrace the voices

it must be pure with no intent

this gift, that with age does present

living and dreaming the insane

in a choice i live, now by name

it keeps me, far from dry

in wonder, helps me to try

i am i, i am me. digressed

obsessed and abscessed

i am i, i am me, full with hep c

what i give, is what i'll be

mid life, aged, now i sit here struggling still lost

disease has stolen my world at the highest cost

however, i am still here, close, even near

not truly free, but facing forward in my fear

best intentions in the end will not live to remember

impressions, stories, and glory live to one’s surrender

this is my habit, my struggle, i am all of me

infected with no refuge, and i still just can not see

all the while, did all i could try and fell apart

only to continue and stop then return again to start

death lives between starting and the needing to stop

each needle numbs and kills my continual unhealthy thought

robs warmth from my thinking and hope from myself

controls my every moment, powerful just by itself

here i am, chosen as one of those dope heads and have lit

very sick, yet not validated to have been born an addict