memoir into dreams, and the realization that made it real,

Compensation



I thought by hiding my truth my self to me alone my unhappiness would not reveal itself,


I closed my eyes from the dark days so that I may smile, but the darkness of yesterday came crashing down, every time I thought of him,

He spoke to me, as I lay in the arms of another, I kept the need of him to me, as for love I sought it in my play of him,


I came across me, in mirrors image, and I gained pity, not for me but him, this man that laid beside me,

An adoring fame of once was my truth, my parade of hope that would be,

It was a conversation I played with, spoke to as the insane do at times, and I sent that message to me, as for as to say just a little longer please,

It was the pretense that kept me in suspense, that kept these words of mines speaking, and it was that, that I longed to be apart of again,

Over and over again I looked into eyes of something good, something worth knowing,


I kissed it with passion, as I brought it into my world on days that seemed not to end,

My pleasure was him in my arms, beneath my sheets, I begged for it, and with that I could not ask for more, in my wishes of stars twinkles, that gave me my belonging,

My compensation was a woman’s wishes, a mans dreams, and that was forever, a beginning that would have know ending,